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Give and get support around quitting

robsterk
Member

my first almost 24 hours

I almost finished my 24 hours until I had a slip up. I put my patch on last night waking up was okay went off to work had some cravings through out the day during my lunch period I ate and read some discussion s on this site to get to feeling positive.

The trouble is I'm in the middle of dealing with a break up and I'm still quite attached. I've learned emotional stress is by far my biggest trigger so when I got out of work I ripped my patch off and lit up a butt. I've had too so far. Then I get to feeling depressed, and thinking I'm never going to do this I can't even make it a whole 24 hours.

It's not like other triggers where you can change your routine. You can choose not to drink coffee, and not drink alcohol or take a break from friends that smoke, but you can't choose to not be upset over losing someone you care about.

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8 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Why did you have a cigarette to light in your possession?  When you quit, you quit - period.  No maybes, no cigarettes around  "just in case!"  Life is always going to happen.  Be prepared for it!  Think about what ELSE you could have done besides smoke.  Take slow/deep breaths?  Go for a quick walk?  Turn on some happy tunes and sing out loud?  Count the re/blue/white things you see?  Drive with the windows down and feel the fresh air in your lungs?

Remember - there is never a good reason to smoke a cigarette; there are only excuses.

Let's get started again tomorrow and I hope you will prepare and plan for any eventuality!!!

Nancy

robsterk
Member

Unfortunately every one else in my house is a smoker so their easily accessible

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mv3024
Member

It's so hard! I feel you. Made it 18 days and blew it. I work 2nd shift, so I already have no life. I started not smoking again today. Just miserable, angry and I no longer go outside on breaks, so now I'm isolated. Can't really go out with friends on a weekend because everyone smokes and drinks. Again, more isolation. I'm trying to take the advice of the wonderful people on here. I really want to do to quit.  I just hate that I feel my whole life is affected and I'm too pissed off to see the big picture. So the old saying one day at a time, right? I really hope it gets easier for you. I'm on the patch too. The whole emotional roller coaster with this process just sucks! They all say it gets better. But like you, I'm still in Hell Phase.

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robsterk
Member

I know how you feel about the isolation I do the same. All my friends drink, and smoke heavily, and I know if I go see them I'm apt to drink then drinking turns to smoking. Our whole lives are effected by it but by the smoking not the quiting. I wish I could see that way when I'm having a really bad craving, but my mind tricks me. I'll be trying again tomorrow and the next day and the next. 

Youve made 18 days you can do it again then make 19 20 21 and so forth. I believe in you.

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mv3024
Member

You can do it too! The first week or 2  is the worst. Not sleeping right, angry, anxious, miserable and just lost. I will say it is refreshing not to wake up and feel bad from smoking and drinking at the bar. I'm at a point where I NEED  to not miss that. I don't understand why I would! I bust my ass all week and deserve to have some kind of fun and social interaction right? ( just not the wrong way!) That is how I blew my 18 days. Got sick of sitting at home. Went out with the friends. Smoked. Bought cigarettes. The next day woke up feeling bad and quite disgusted with myself. Smoked another 2 days. Got disgusted with the money I didn't have to waste, (8 bucks a pack where I live) so I'm trying again. It bothers me the most on the weekends. I am sharing this little story with you because we may have the same triggers and it's so hard!!! I'm trying to find different things to do and trying to use the tools and advice of people on here. I want to read the book that is recommended also. I've been smoking for 35 years. So if I can do this, you can too!! Throw those things out already and really put your head in the game. You have to want to quit. Today is a new day! You can do it!!! 

elvan
Member

robsterk‌ and mv3024  

You have to plan for your quits...I understand that cigarettes are available if you live with smokers but it is not impossible to quit.  I also understand the isolation but I think you have to consider how isolated you will be if you develop a smoking related illness like COPD or cancer.  No one is immune to the effects of smoking, NO ONE.  I was an RN for years and I took care of patients with both of those diagnoses and I didn't see myself reflected in what they were going through.  Now I have oxygen on at night, I had to have both upper lobes of my lungs surgically removed, I am short of breath with the least exertion, and I am tired all of the time.  I exercise and eat right and I do everything I possibly can to take care of myself BUT I smoked and I disregarded the signs that smoking was starting to affect me.  This is an addiction, recovery is one day at a time, one experience at a time.  It is not easy, it requires commitment and the promise to yourself that you will not smoke.  You are best to avoid situations with other people drinking and smoking, you have to find new ways to feel less isolated, to participate on the site, go to places where you CAN'T smoke.  Work out, get healthy...it's worth every bit of the "hell" you describe.  You CAN do this but you HAVE to be absolutely committed and then vigilant in protecting your quit.

Welcome to EX, both of you.

Ellen

YoungAtHeart
Member

Rob and mv3024  - you need to find something you enjoy doing on the weekends that doesn't involve smoking and drinking.  Perhaps you could find volunteer opportunities?  Or go hiking?  Or join a gym?  Walk the mall and people watch?  Go to the movies?  How about ice skating or roller skating?   Eventually you should be able to go out with friends and their smoking won't bother you - but always remain wary of drinking.  It clouds your thinking and your commitment.    Part of the quit process is relearning your life as an ex-smoker and that means finding NEW ways of living.  Give it some thought.  Perhaps others will chime in with ideas!

Congratulations to you both on your decision to quit smoking at a young age.  Hopefully it's soon enough that you can avoid some of the smoking ills that afflict so many of us older quitters here!

Nancy

maryfreecig
Member

    You can quit. Troubles never really go away, certainly not for good.

    I'm sorry you are in a break up, but smoking until you find good feelings or until you chase bad feelings away is part of the problem of nicotine dependency. There are a few actions you can take if you feel you just can't quit right now. Stay tuned in at Ex, read and learn about the addiction. Add up the cost of the cigarettes every day. Save every butt smoked in a glass jar and do not hide the jar away. 

   Few have an entirely easy time quitting, but one day at a time you can re-learn life without the smokes.

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