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Give and get support around quitting

Fee33
Member

When is No never Enough

Okay so my friend is a smoker she just called an said can I stop by an vist with you I said you can't smoke at my house around my house outside my house on my porch anywhere she said wow felicia I said what I'm being serious something came over me an I said I wanna soar like a eagle being smoke free she's like felicia I'm a smoker I said I get that but I am not an I'm not tempting myself to be around you while you smoke an what kind of cigarettes my kind not happening sorry she said well your taking all this to serious I SAID UH YOU SHOULD TOO sorry about the caps I said your dying slowly Everytime you take a puff she's like why all of sudden change I said I'm 33 your 34 why not quit smoking we getting older it's the best time to stop now so she really didn't understand NO MEANS NO so when is NO EVER ENOUGH?? I said it so many times and then I got really *****y an mean I said look you can't respect I am a new quitter on smoking maybe we shouldn't be friends unless you want me to help you quit smoking I can totally do that I have all the keys to help you stop she's like no!  So when is no ever enough to me that right there when she said no I threw my hands up an I was done.im not better then her by no means but my recovery is freaking serious too me damn it. Sorry I'm upset 

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6 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

Wow - your life certainly has enough drama in it right now.  I'm so glad you are coming here to vent and not smoking over it.  Your friend is probably upset with you because she will be missing her smoking buddy.  If she doesn't respect and support your commitment to be a healthier person, imho she is not much of a friend!  Find new, non-smoking ones!

Nancy

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Fee33
Member

Drama isn't the word for today my dear Nancy it's definitely a Monday js your so right she misses us smoking an drinking coffee together she mentioned that I said well I just can't go back to my old self I'm sorry she got even madder I was like not arguing you know how I feel an if you can't respect me being smoke free stay away from me!! 

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JACKIE1-25-15
Member

It is okay.  Sorry that you had to go through having to say no so many times.  Everybody is not going to respect your quit in the beginning .  When they see that you really mean no they will start respecting you and your quit a lot more.  Stay true to you and try not to get emotional about it.    Which is rather hard right now sense ones emotions can really fly off the handle.  Breathing while these conversations are going on will help you stay calmer.  I did not say calm but calmer.  Try the breathing.  For so many years I heard breathing works.  I never truly implemented it until I quit smoking.  It is a game changer.  .....This too shall pass and later on you will laughing about it. Don't test the waters until you believe that you will not drown.

Fee33
Member

Oh I know I will drown that's why I refuse to even tempt myself being around her yes this too shall pass amen hallelujahhhh!!! 

maryfreecig
Member

Not being around smoking is the right thing to do. If you cannot be around your friends right now, or they will not understand that you must have no smoking in, around your home, then avoiding your friends is the best thing you can do for your quit. When I first quit, I avoided situations where smoking was going on. I needed to focus 100%. Likely, hurt feelings will be heeled as time goes by. Hope so. 

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elvan
Member

Fee33‌  You are doing exactly what you need to do...you are putting your quit first and you are taking care of it.  You HAVE to protect your quit.  I had to explain that to my smoking friends and, eventually, they "got" it...I never smoked in my house and neither did anyone else, it took time for smoking friends to understand that I would not put my quit at risk...not hang around them when they were smoking...it's been over 3 1/2 years since I quit and I don't miss it at all.  I am so glad that I FINALLY quit...I did a lot of damage first, you are smart to quit now, while you are so young.  Who knows, maybe you will encourage your friend with your example.

Ellen

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