(Thanks to tlajbenn for this)
Thank you Giulia, and if I can add, maybe be what the person who loves you the most wants to you to be! And that person should be You! But if you have not reach that point in your journey of self discovery, then pick the next person: your mom, your son, daughter, husband, dad, lover, best friend, you name it. There is always someone in your life who loves you so much, and their love matters to you, they can make you move mountains for them and their love can be your main support in the quitting smoking journey.
Daniela, I find the process of "unbecoming" for me has involved of letting go of those expectations of the those that love me. Unraveling myself from living from what I did in the past because of expectations of others is when I truly started to become the me that I was meant to be. It is a slow sometimes scary process. The ones that love me give me support as I walk through this journey of mine and they are learning I am going to be the "real me" the person I was meant to be. Scary as it is sometimes it is an awesome journey to be on!
Thank you Trudy tjanddj, when I quit I guess I was ready for it, but what my son told me, without insisting I need to quit, was a the forefront of my mind for many months before the quit: he had said: "I love you and want to have you around for a while". In our culture, saying "I love you" does not come as easily as it does in English; rarely we say it, we think it, we feel it, we express respect, missing each other, but rarely do we tell our parents (nor do they tell us) we love them. I tried to raise my son differently and him telling me what he did, was more powerful than me knowing I have to quit, knowing I hurt myself with every cigarette. Loving myself? It will take a while...another thing about our culture, and particularly about my family, is being very exigent, very hard on oneself; letting go of those expectations (my own) is what I find the hardest; it is one of the reasons my job gets so stressful: I need to get things just right, and fast, and if I make a mistake, it takes days of self talk to let it go...We are all a work in progress, I still have a bunch to do.
I was really taken aback when I saw this posted by tlajbenn this morning. Not only because the words moved me, but also because I had never heard it before. I have been practicing meditation for 15+ years, and this is exactly what you are trying to achieve in meditation. I've just never heard it stated so simply. For anyone interested, this is also the underlying theme of most Richard Rohr books. I kind of assumed he was the author of the quote, but I Googled to find it is anonymous.
I love this and have never seen it before either and it's perfect for this quit smoking site!
The word unbecoming has a bad reputation. Watching folks in the Assisted Living, I saw them unwrap from values of wealth, power and status which stood in the way of coming closer to our Maker. Thank You, G! You inspire me!
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