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How do you not smoke when smoking is all you do?

Question asked by ShyButterfly95 on Aug 26, 2017
Latest reply on Jan 18, 2019 by anaussiemom

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For clarity: I am quitting both smoking and vaping. I mainly vape, and would "treat" myself to cigarettes every now and then. I am quitting on September 10th.

For background: I'm disabled. I'm not working or going to school right now. I'm 21. I don't have any close friends. I have a boyfriend I see once or twice a week. Otherwise, all I do is smoke and vape and browse my phone. I have clinical depression and have lost all interest in other things. I also have anxiety, which is another trigger for smoking and vaping.

So I do nothing all day... have no interest or motivation to do anything... but at the same time I want to quit because of my health and because I'm sick of being controlled by nicotine.

I'm so conflicted. My life is fat full of nothing and nicotine. But then what the heck do I do all day instead of vaping and browsing my phone? I'm thinking to start I can replace the hand to mouth habit with a different (healthy) hand to mouth habit and still browse my phone. Then slowly introduce old hobbies back into my life.

Oh, I will be using the lozenge. Can't use the patch, I'm allergic. I'm already on buproprion for depression.

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Daniela2016 Aug 26, 2017 11:35 PM
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I hope for you this time will be the One! You have all the encouragement, guidance you might need right here.
Figure out what did not work right the first time and make it better this time.
We all know you can do it, and please just come here often and learn from others' experiences.
Looking forward for your 1st Day of Freedom!
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Thomas3.20.2010 Aug 27, 2017 10:31 AM
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Instead of focusing on what you can't do - make a list of the things you can do! I have known a lot of "disabled" folks. and they are just like anybody else! I can't lift 200 lbs. If that's all I think about look how much I miss out on that I can do! I grew up with a "disabled" mother, known "disabled" people of all ages from lots of causes, and now am classified as disabled by the government and I can promise you that we find a way to live within our abilities! Get up, get off that couch (figuratively) and do something - anything!
Oh I know what depression/anxiety is! Been there done that more often than I can count - you can use that as a "reason" to stay stuck and think that "hand to mouth" is enough or you can challenge yourself - depression and all - to move! You have the POWER to decide! Set your Self EXpectations higher!
Take what you like and leave the rest -
to be helpful is my only goal!
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Christine13 Aug 27, 2017 9:23 AM
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My husband is disabled, but he plays video games and uses his walker to sit in front of the stove to cook new and different recipies. You could always learn how to crochet or knit. Word search puzzles are great or get on Facebook and play some games there. I think you could be handi-capable and find things to do. I understand depression, you will feel much better about yourself once you accomplish a few things for yourself, instead of smoking.
All the best with your quit.
xo
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Christophina Aug 27, 2017 10:28 AM
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Ok you got buproprion for depression, so use it as a stepping stone to a better place in your life. Listen to Thomas
(I think I said that to you before :-) ) you can practice doing stuff to help yourself to better mental and physical health or you can practice becoming more 'disabled'.
I remember sitting in one place all day when I was your age and smoking until the ashtray was overflowing. I wanted someone to know just how unhappy I had become. Someone else might be able to fix me. I hadn't learned how to look after myself and I just kept piling on negative thoughts and behaviour until I was at a standstill.
ShyButterfly95 you are a beautiful, young, intelligent, articulate woman work out what has made you so unhappy and forgive those who have harmed you and most importantly forgive yourself. Embrace your dark side, learn to love every facet of your being, because it really is ok to be you....be your own best friend on the amazing journey of life.
God, I wish somebody had said that to me when I was your age....wait...they probably did.
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maryfreecig Aug 27, 2017 10:56 AM
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In my opinion, two cents worth anyway, you have two weeks to test the waters about getting re-involved in things you do like to do.

If you challenge yourself to quit as well as make another MAJOR change such as trying to improve your whole routine/outlook on life, you might feel overwhelmed--especially is you expect significant progress all at once. The brain can only follow so many directives before it crashes! It is ok to quit before you have a clear idea about your whole life. In fact for a month you could make quitting your one and only job--all other changes could be made on a test and trial basis--no pressure to obtain the kind of life you wish you had or think you want.

Change is good; but one priority first with the understanding that you will do your best to improve your whole life in an "easy does it, but do it" way.

I have felt inertia and been somewhat despondent at times in my life--I think many of us can relate to those states of being. The solution never came for me, I always had to take faction--many times I've done so reluctantly, moaning and crying.

You have the power and potential to get where you want to go. Your own plan to make progress sounds like a great direction to go in.

Thanks for blogging about a common problem (the smokes were the center of my world--and many smokers would say the same).

End of my two cents.
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- Thomas3.20.2010 @ maryfreecig on Aug 27, 2017 11:16 AM
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  I hear you, Mary! And at one time I agreed wholeheartedly. Then I did some research. That's because having COPD requires multiple lifestyle changes and every one of them is ASAP! Here's what I found....
  Pursuing Multiple Lifestyle Changes Simultaneously Is Not Only Possible, It's Effective
  I could refer to lots of research but bottom line, making BIG Changes all at once one change supports another and they all come together.
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  - maryfreecig @ Thomas3.20.2010 on Aug 28, 2017 4:33 PM
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    You are broadening the idea here, that's not bad, but I still believe that improving ones spirit or mental health is not a lifestyle change necessarily, nor one that can be effected in do A. B. C. Some quitters are facing immediate health issues, and I can see how diving in and changing diet, exercise can go hand in hand. Changing depression, sadness, grief are not so easily addressed at the same time and therefore just working on the quit is good, and all other healthful things one can do for spirit and mind and health are of course important.
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  - BHnCA @ Thomas3.20.2010 on May 26, 2018 2:26 PM
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    I'm glad I came upon this link you posted last year. It reinforces a thought that's been rolling around in my mind lately, which is that I've spent several years consciously avoiding most things I used to enjoy, because I fear those things will be too difficult since I've got COPD. Anybody with that ailment KNOWS what happens when you don't honor your limitations. Unfortunately, that mindset has gotten me into the habit of avoiding EVERYTHING I used to love doing - like kayaking, hiking in the high Sierra, traveling, gardening, and even cleaning/reorganizing closets and drawers so as to minimize. The worst part is that I had begun smoking more than ever to fill my time. The cigarettes had become my only friend, source of entertainment and reward. But, duh, no wonder my life has become boring and empty! A few days after my first quit, I started feeling a mild improvement in my breathing. I know I will never get rid of COPD, but breathing just a little bit more made me think about things I miss doing and wish I could. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks that I still CAN do such things, I just need to start DOING them. I only need to plan on altering the level to which I do things and stop letting COPD tell me I'm doomed for nothingness. Thus I am in the process of planning a little trip over to the coast just to enjoy the surroundings, visit some art galleries, and enjoy eating out! So what if I have to walk slower or take the easy walking routes! The effort to get all my closets cleaned out and reorganized has already begun, too. I just have to do it all in a slower manner and who cares how long it takes? Our minds are a peculiar thing ... the further my COPD progressed and the more I heard my doctor tell me what I could or shouldn't do, the more I developed a mindset of someone who is totally disabled. Well to heck with that! I'm not dead yet and I'm not going to continue thinking as if my life is over. It's just a matter and getting in and DOING stuff. So yeah, this article really touched a nerve in me that I needed to feel.
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elvan Aug 27, 2017 2:16 PM
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I am disabled, have been for many years now...I am also past retirement age but I work a couple of days a week to get out with other people and to interact with them. I also EXERCISE. I have a stationary bike, when I was able to, I used to walk every day, it was the most amazing thing, it lifted my spirits and made me feel like I was alive in a way that few other things can. I do things for OTHERS...depression is something that you have to work with, you do not have to allow it to control you. If all I did was smoke and vape and browse my phone, I would feel depressed too. I understand that it is not that "simple" but I also understand that you CAN do things to improve your life. You CAN make choices that will make you feel better. Get more involved on this site, volunteer at a nursing home...elderly people would LOVE to interact with someone as young as you...go to a park and watch kids play and listen to them laugh. Remember that you used to laugh once too. That laughter is the best music ever!
Ellen
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- BHnCA @ elvan on May 26, 2018 2:28 PM
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  WHOA! Look what I just wrote above about this article. It was so timely finding it. I might have to do things slower, but WHO CARES, right? I just have to compensate.
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gregp136 Aug 27, 2017 3:01 PM
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I do not know your disability, ShyButterfly95, but I do know disabilities and Wisconsin. It is what I do! We need to get you out and get you involved in things in Waukesha County. There are tons of ways for you to really be a positive influence in Waukesha. The community needs you!
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bonniebee Aug 27, 2017 5:03 PM
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Just want to say Hi and
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mjlibbie Aug 27, 2017 5:42 PM
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At the risk of sounding hypocritical, considering my last post, but something I've been doing when I start to obsess about smoking is color. I have several grown up versions of coloring books (a few even have inspirational phrases which is a double positive!) and a HUGE box of crayons. The smell of the crayons puts me in a fabulous place. Back to childhood...back to a time before I smoked. As soon as I open the box, I take a huge inhale and am literally transported.

The focus of choosing the right color palette, the attention to detail, the gorgeous result when I finish (though I rarely finish one picture in a sitting) just hits the spot. It's a super inexpensive, easy, and fun! Certainly something you could do even with disabilities. Keeps your hands active too.

MJ
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- elvan @ mjlibbie on Aug 27, 2017 7:36 PM
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  My sister in law did that when she was recovering from hip surgery, she LOVED it and said it made her feel so good. There is nothing hypocritical in your comment, mjlibbie
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- BHnCA @ mjlibbie on May 26, 2018 2:29 PM
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  I know a LOT of grownups who have gotten into coloring. I should say gotten "back" into it. The crafts stores even carry large displays of coloring books, crayons and colored pencils for grown up coloring projects!
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  - elvan @ BHnCA on May 27, 2018 9:33 PM
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    ShyButterfly's post was nine month old and she recently posted, she is still smoke free...Thomas3.20.2010 taught me more about COPD than working as a nurse and I MEAN that! We do have to slow down, we don't have to LAY down and wait for someone to put flowers on us. Movements have to be deliberate and planned, particularly with summer and the heat and humidity combo.
    Ellen
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freeneasy Aug 27, 2017 11:54 PM
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Give yourself more credit. I think you do a lot more than smoke.
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Giulia Aug 28, 2017 12:06 AM
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"My life is fat full of nothing and nicotine...... Then slowly introduce old hobbies back into my life." Why slowly? Why not jump in with one of them tomorrow? What are you waiting for? YOU have to change your life. It's not just going to happen because you hope it will or wish it would. Pick a hobby, any hobby and commit to spending an a hour a day on it. Can't handle an hour - then commit to just 30 minutes. 30 minutes out of day isn't too hard now, is it? Go for it!
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stAn3 Aug 28, 2017 12:01 PM
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I have to stay busy. It is difficult because I have nothing planned outside of work. I'm used to laying in bed watching TV. Once I made a commitment not to smoke and a commitment to plan for down time, I started finding things to do. It's a bonus to quitting smoking. I am actually starting to have a life!
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karen-lane Aug 31, 2017 11:05 AM
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It is never easy to change and to stop smoking seems almost impossible and makes one sad to boot, but it is up to you.
There are so many people here that want to help, and also in your community. A lot of people gave very good advice here, listen to them.
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TessaGrace Feb 21, 2018 6:07 PM
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I wonder where you are, saw your last log in date was November, hope you check in and see this. Hope you are still quit or re-quit or thinking about quitting again.
For me This quit is Day 6. The foundation for this quit is actually things that could relate well to your situation;
A while ago I got really inspired by Youtube videos to start eating well and exercising more - raw foods/ 80/10/10 High Carb Vegan all that jazz. So for about two years those messages have been going in and my food / lifestyle choices reflect that ever increasingly. That in itself is a good foundation and one I am cherishing in the quit as it gives me backbone for healthy choices. Then A few months ago I moved home to Pa's for a while and we started dry January together which has continued. So, I'm away from my home friends, little to do (no work atm) except meal prep, exercise and watch Youtube as a treat on my phone - pop has 0 wifi! The Suburbs like this are dull enough to make you start smoking if you don't, or quit smoking if you do, just to have something to do. I found Allen Carr's book in the Library sell off for 20p. And just decided to go for it.
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- karen-lane @ TessaGrace on Feb 21, 2018 8:54 PM
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  Good that your doing something, reading and cooking, some ways to keep busy, it is a day to day, sometimes hour to hour, it will eventually get better. Keep up the good quit.
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elvan Feb 21, 2018 6:45 PM
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ShyButterfly95 I really hope you are continuing your quit and that you know that you have not been forgotten...look at this NEWBIE reaching out to you. You CAN do this and you CAN find many ways to grow stronger and stronger.
Ellen
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Barbara145 Feb 21, 2018 9:10 PM
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I think your addiction to nicotine is contributing to your depression. My motivation increased a lot when I quit smoking. Welcome to Ex.
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DonnaMarie Feb 22, 2018 8:37 PM
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I know it's odd, but I started painting rocks recently. I haven't smoked inside in decades, so I can't smoke when I'm painting. The Kindness Rock Project is what it's all about. It's one thing you can do
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Giulia May 27, 2018 9:56 PM
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"We do have to slow down, we don't have to LAY down and wait for someone to put flowers on us." Love this, Ellen. Just wondering when it will apply to you? When will you slow down?
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- elvan @ Giulia on May 27, 2018 10:16 PM
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  Oh, I thought maybe you were wondering about the flowers...hahahaha...I AM slowing down. No choice right now.
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  - Giulia @ elvan on May 27, 2018 10:35 PM
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    Sometimes slowing down for a while helps us regain our strength so that we don't have to lay down. And sometimes we just have to slow down because that's the only thing that's best for us.
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    - elvan @ Giulia on May 28, 2018 11:31 AM
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      Agreed.
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McCarron Jan 18, 2019 2:52 AM
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I'm somewhat like you in that I am alone a lot. I have a lot of pain and smoking somehow takes my mind off of the pain. I haven't quit smoking yet but when I do, I am going to do word find games and puzzles. Another thing That worked quite well for me in the past is that whenever I had a craving for a cigarette, I would put a quarter in a glass jar that sat where my ashtray used to sit. I chose to save the money instead of throwing it away. I will definitely do that again. Good luck
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- elvan @ McCarron on Jan 18, 2019 11:21 AM
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  McCarron and sweetplt This blog by ShyButterfly95 is a year old and, unless I am mistaken, she has found things to do and has improved her life greatly, she no longer smokes.
  
  Quitting is a journey and not an event...it requires one day at a time education, support, and commitment. It is SO possible no matter how long you smoked or what you are telling yourself is your reason. I have chronic pain and that was a big one for me but once I accepted the fact that it was a LIE to believe that it helped anything, it made it easier. Then again, I also have irreversible lung damage so I have reminders ALL the time for the reason I need to stay quit.
  
  If you have not already done so, I strongly advise you to read YoungAtHeart's welcome to new people, For Our New Years' Quitters (and community members, too) This is particularly helpful as are many of JonesCarpeDiem's blogs including What To Expect In The First Four Months I won't tell you that quitting is easy because that has not been my experience but I will tell you that with education about this addiction, support from others who have been where you are, and your own commitment to getting and/or staying quit...it IS possible.
  
  Ellen
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sweetplt Jan 18, 2019 8:05 AM
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Not sure what to say, but there is so much in life to experience. I am so sorry...and hope you can find some interests. I will pray for you...((((((hugs))))))) out to you...Quitting just might open an entire new and better world for you.
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anaussiemom Jan 18, 2019 11:32 AM
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A Gynecologist, told me "Knitting works both sides of the brain" That was sound advice, for me. It makes sense to work many different aspects of the brain combating the addiction.

Few years later..........
It most certainly does calm my nerves (urges).
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How do you not smoke when smoking is all you do?

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