Newbie. I want to be a Quitter!

Discussion created by Mckenna on Aug 1, 2017
Latest reply on Aug 12, 2017 by josnyder72

Hello everybody I'm new here. Please excuse any typos as I'm talking into my phone. I'm soon to be 60 years old I'm a female former bodybuilder up to my 30s, service-connected disabled military vet, married to a non smoker, came from a non-smoking upbringing. So why am I here. The reason is simple and yet it is complicated. We all have our stories and I'm sure mine might vary from some and be parallel to others we're all here to live. I smoked casually in high school stopped completely when I was 17 began bodybuilding and became an amateur bodybuilder up until 9:30 which included a military stent of which I suffer PTSD and in that respect and 50% disabled plus retired. I began smoking again when I was in my mid-thirties after I stopped bodybuilding and still smoke some what casually but I think with the loss of my parents the loss of my grown nephew in Osaka Japan killed in a motorcycle accident I fear those were my biggest triggers. I never drank I never did drugs. I'm pretty much a clean slate except for this one demon smoking. All my lab work at the hospitals always came out good and miraculously chest x-rays were actually clear. In 2011 I was a victim of an assault and was punched severely in the back of my head which caused the thalamus brain hemorrhage. Funny when I think of it now I worked really hard and regained all my falculty by myself Physical Therapy was booked up 4 months. I taught myself to walk to read speak I gave my sight back in my right eye and to look at me today you would never think anything was wrong with me. But that brain bleed ended up turning into cavernous brain malformations which are the thinning of the arteries in the brain. In that the brain sent mixed signals have a large cyst in my left kidney I have liver disease just like somebody who drank and a couple of other issues where the brain keeps sending mixed signals to other body parts. But once again to look at me I am the picture of Health and nobody can even fathom what I've been through by looking at me. So again why am I here. Began smoking with the major triggers stopped for a year after the brain bleeds and gradually start smoking again. My stop date was July 19th of this year. Cold turkey. I've had a couple of slip-ups but I la myself that and get back on the horse because I know this is a challenge a life-saving challenge. July 19th we return from a road trip from Southern California to Oregon and had a beautiful time right on the Rogue River breathtaking. We wrapped it on the White Waters we ate well we took in the scenery is a slice of Heaven there's no doubt. On the way home we were in a hurry so we failed to stop for two nights and instead made a one night stay in Sacramento when I got home I was in full-blown altitude sickness. I was rushed to the hospital by paramedics 4 days later with difficulty breathing no pain no cough dizziness. They ran every test possible in the hospital and they found what they thought and may still think it's a blood clot somewhere in my body they can't find it all my other blood levels were good and then the doctor came in and said I had a blocked artery somewhere just the kind of news I wanted to hear. They would then went on to say my EKG was normal with the exception of two little blips which they called bunny ears which is an indication of some sort of lung disease what kind they don't know. So that's enough to make me stop quit walk away and it no more smoking done while I'm waiting for results. I'm waiting for those lab results to come in from the doctor to see where we stand but in the meantime I've gone completely vegan as of July 19th all plant-based. I threw out the cigarettes. I'm walking 2 miles every morning and every evening working my way up to five miles every morning and every evening non-strenuous casual but it's getting the job done. So why am I here. I haven't tempted fate over all these years smoking but I do know it's been a vice a very bad Vice a very unhealthy Vice. I'm all grown up and know all the implications from smoking with her it's one cigarette five cigarettes or 5 packs a day I don't need to watch a commercial on TV or have a doctor tell me all the negatives I do know what they are. So why am I here. I need people like me. I need people fighting for their lives like me. I need people understand the addictions of smoking. I have nobody I can talk to because everybody is a non-smoker they all tell me I'll get past it it's no big deal and the worst comment I received was from someone close to me that said it's your own fault. Yes it is. Yes it is. But I need people that can motivate me and I need people that can tell me to get back on the horse and and what a good job I'm doing I need the support. I need these chemicals out of my body I need the Damage Done reversed I need to be smoke-free and I'm a fighter believe me I'm a fighter and I won't give up but what I need most of all is you. So why am I here I'm here because of you and because of me and because of us. We're going to be moving from Southern California and relocating to Coeur d'Alene Idaho I want to be able to live and enjoy the beauty I want to be able to take a deep breath and not worry I want to know I can go get lab work done and it comes in clean and that somehow somehow by the grace of God this clot is dissolved my lung disease is minor and that I can live my life to my fullest. So why am I here I want to be a quitter 150% Mckenna