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Give and get support around quitting

Why Even Bother

What is the answer to a successful quit, a long-term quit, a quit that sticks? What exactly does one have to do to finally reach the top of the mountain? I remember in my early days thinking, my god, when is this ever going to end? When is this ever going to stop? I felt like a gerbil on a wheel just spinning and spinning. My advice, it doesn't end. You just have to come to terms with it. You have to come to a mutual agreement, a recognition that it's always going to be there but it's okay. It doesn't define you. You don't have to act on it. It doesn't have to scare you, worry you, cause you anxiety because you have the thought of smoking after being quit for so long. It's just that, a thought. Nothing more.

We are just like Pavlof's dogs. We're trainable. We have the ability to make a conscious choice of acting or not acting on a thought. We can choose to eat or not eat. We have the ability of reasoning. Replace one bad act with a proactive act. Make sure you do that act the same way every single time, just like you did with smoking. You smoked when you were mad. Get yourself a stress ball. When you get upset, every single time grab that stress ball. Some use meditation, punching bags, a certain song they sing, a scent they use, but be consistent. Behaviors can be modified. We have the ability to channel our energy to something else. Put some thought into it.

You find yourself slipping, then develop a plan. We each have our own what I like to call tells. We know when we're developing the stinkin' thinkin'. We see it coming. And, you know what, it will come around every now and then. Don't let anyone tell you that it won't because it does. It did for me and I had to step away from the site for awhile. I just had to distance myself. Don't get worked up over it. It's what you've done for years and years. I've seen members on here who has written blogs about seeing themselves falling into their old ways and have to take a break and regroup. Being able to recognize that is half the battle.

Just STOP, DROP and ROLL. Go to the Relapse Prevention group on here. Read the articles. Put some effort into this. Keep telling yourself I WILL DO THIS. I've gone to that group on here countless of times because I recognized what was going on. I knew in my own personal space, I've got trouble here brewing. I need to regroup, get grounded and get back on track. That has nothing to do with smoking. It has everything to do with the dependent behavior. The thinking of just screw it. It would be just easier to go back than to fight this. Why bother? I know why I bother. I didn't like it the first time. I'm not doing it again. I didn't by any means enjoy it. I'm glad I'm through the really bad part. I'm certainly not going to test the waters and see if it would be easier the second time around. From what I've read on here from members who have relapsed and come back, it doesn't get any easier. I like where I am now. I've finally landed.

Search around on here and find a group that you relate to. Follow that group so that you can find it faster when you need it. Bookmark certain blogs, discussions, what I like to call articles, ones that hit home for you. Go back to them when you feel yourself being sucked down. They will be your lifeline. I've got at least 15 of those blogs bookmarked because they struck a cord with me in one way or the other. Go back in your earlier blog entries and read what you wrote to reinforce where you are now. That's the reason for them. That's why they are there. Find a member you connect with. Message them on here when you're in trouble or the group as a whole. By using this site for what it's meant to do, it will help you get to where you want to be........... blessings to you all, my friends. Crazy is over and out !!! (What would your real housewife's tagline be?) 🙂

11 Replies
bonniebee
Member

I like to think back to when I was a child before the nicotine addiction it is hard to remember what I did to manage stress and I had a lot of it even then (dysfunctional family ! ) I bit my nails and finally broke that habit in my late forties ! I remember chewing on pencils in school ! Soooo even back then I had bad habits and they were very oral so i took to smoking so easily and so Hard !

What is my point  ? Not sure just that we can create new habits and i am being rushed off of here By my irrate roomey !

Thanks Lori I will try to get bck to this later ! And I won't smoke over it !  lol

Giulia
Member

Great blog, Lori.  "It's just a thought.  Nothing more."  And we ARE trainable, thank God!  We can train ourselves right out of those triggers.  Just takes practice and patience.  

"I like where I am now. I've finally landed."  Isn't it great when we finally get here!

Diannnnn
Member

Thanks for sharing these thoughts! Anyone who has fur babies will know we humans are trainable!

Really good advice about going back and reading what you've written. Remembering the first few days and all the ups and downs should help anyone resist the urge! I tried to make sure I noted stuff in my blathering that I thought would be good for me to remember. I started writing "blogs" on Facebook before I found this site. One days I will put everything into one Word Doc. Probably a good winter time project.

Can't believe it's only been 2 months since I got out of the hospital and decided to change my life. 

Thank you Lori!

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Jennifer-Quit
Member

Dian it is also fun to go back and read the Elder's early blogs!

Diannnnn
Member

Yeah, I have done a little of that when I have time. That's how I figured out you guys are humans and not superheroes.  

Jennifer-Quit
Member

Very good Lori - as always!  It is good to hear that you found your happy place!

elvan
Member

Thanks Lori.  I certainly remember those why bother days...so very glad that it gets easier.

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tlajbenn
Member

Thank you for sharing. You have some great advice and tips, especially for a newbie like me. I never want to go through these last two weeks again. I like the idea of bookmarking blogs that hit home with me and going back to them when I need some inspiration. Thank you.

0 Kudos

you are welcome.  We never had that ability before and I've got quite a few I bookmarked for myself and also for common questions that I've found that pop up here.  Surf around on https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/relapse-prevention?sr=search&searchId=33726ffd-922b-4011-a...‌ also https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters?sr=search&searchId=688f47a3-ce3d-45cf-8867...‌.  Search for things that you are wondering about like grief, depression, any physical symptoms you are having.  You want answers, they are here.  BTW, two weeks is impressive !!!!!!!!