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going on 4 years now...feeling like i dont care...

Question asked by newlife5 on Jul 28, 2017
Latest reply on Jul 29, 2017 by Angie_machado

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okay, I got that I don't care any more feeling. I been quit almost 4 years...and times are hard, my son ans daughter in law are moving a RV into my back yard... and they have good intentions,... but basically I'm feeling like they will now be homeless,... maybe its not a mistake,... anyway I got a good whiff of his cigarette now I'm feeling like whats the use,.. I'm old I'm going to die anyway,.. I want to smoke.... just came here to get some encouragement... all I want to do is cry,... smoke and feel like a failure...

elvan Jul 28, 2017 9:24 PM

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I am exhausted and I have to go to bed now, do NOT smoke...PLEASE, reach out to more people, we do not want to lose you.

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Marilyn.H.July.14.14. Jul 28, 2017 8:55 PM
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You're in a funk right now, like you said times are tough and having your son and daughter in law moving into your back yard in an RV must be difficult for you but smoking is definitely not the answer sweet friend and fellow Exer, no way do you really want one, I can see a whiff smelling good but throwing nearly four precious yrs away for a fleeting couple of minutes for a Smoke that would destroy the best gift that you've ever given yourself which is the gift of LIFE! Yes we're getting old and we're going to die anyway but we hopefully by quitting smoking won't die a slow painful death most likely caused by smoking, chin up and know that we're all here for you and I'm really happy that you came here, you are not a failure, you are a kind, caring person with lots of love to give plus you are an Ex Smoker and you are an inspiration to us here in this Ex community, stay strong! (((((Huge cyber hug from me to you newlife5)))))
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Jennifer-Quit-05-01-14 Jul 28, 2017 8:54 PM
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Oh no.....please don't you dare. This is a temp situation I am sure. You have always been a huge inspiration to me - please don't throw it away. You do care - and we care - never another day one.
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Strudel Jul 28, 2017 9:10 PM
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Izzy - I am so sorry that things are so down right now.....but, I know, and you know, smoking will give you NOTHING! You did exactly the right thing by coming here and blogging - so that tells me that deep down, you KNOW you can't go back to smoking. To lose your freedom would be horrible. Please, realize that you are going through a bad situation right now - but smoking isn't going to change that!
I am so proud that you have almost 4 years! Your quit is a very precious gift that you have given yourself. Please don't throw it away!
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elvan Jul 28, 2017 9:22 PM
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You know that smoking will not change anything, it will not solve the problem of the RV in your backyard and it won't make you feel better. It WILL make you feel overwhelmed with guilt and sadness and you will feel like you need to start all over again. LOOK at how far you have come and how many people you have helped along the way. newlife5 You are WAY too valuable as a person to fall back into that addiction and lose quit. You have grown, you have helped others, please take our hands and know that we are here for you and we are sending love and prayers. Stick with your quit, stick with US.
Ellen
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- newlife5 @ elvan on Jul 28, 2017 9:27 PM
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  thank you everyone... I have not smoked... and I'm feeling better ... I will be sticking close even if I don't say anything... thanks again
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elvan Jul 28, 2017 9:24 PM
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I am exhausted and I have to go to bed now, do NOT smoke...PLEASE, reach out to more people, we do not want to lose you.
E
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Angie_machado Jul 28, 2017 9:39 PM
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I'm a newbie with 8 DOF, I can't wait to be smoke free as long as you have. Please don't give up on your quit! I bet there are a lot of things you could teach me huh? I need people like you to get me through my tough days with all your wisdom, tricks, tips and phrases, without them I would surely be lost and smoking again. Please hang in there, if you can't do it for you right now, please do it for us newbies. We need you more than you'll ever know. Please know I will be thinking of you tonight and I'm praying that you keep your quit. I wanna get to know you!
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KMC56 Jul 28, 2017 9:59 PM
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Marilyn's so right, you are in an awful funk. Embrace your precious quit!!! I know we all have experienced days like that... hope I can pull my boot straps up and carry on...we all here to help you pull 'em up!
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Youngatheart.7.4.12 Jul 28, 2017 10:05 PM
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You have what others WANT! Wouldn't you rather be an ex-smoker who thinks about smoking every once in awhile or a smoker who thinks about quitting ALL the time? YOU got this! It was hard earned and you WON!
Think about how awful it will be to have to go back to Day One ----- and there is a good chance you WILL have to go back there again if you give in and smoke.
Stay strong! Life will always happen; it's how you deal with it that's important. This, too, shall pass - and when it does, you will be SO happy you stayed smoke free!
Nancy
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newlife5 Jul 28, 2017 10:59 PM
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I am fine now I waited it out and I'm truly grateful... I did not smoke and I am not going to... I am still working on coping skills I guess... I smoked 43 years... so basically I'm still a preschooler....throwing a little tamtrum... I got it back together now thanks for being there
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- Angie_machado @ newlife5 on Jul 28, 2017 11:05 PM
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  Thank you!
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- maryfreecig @ newlife5 on Jul 29, 2017 5:03 PM
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  Loving this sequel to "feeling like I don't care...." I'm a preschooler too! So glad you called out and found your turnaround. Amen!
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Mandolinrain Jul 28, 2017 11:05 PM
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I'm late getting here but I had a horrid crave today too! We both got through it and I'm so glad we did! Hugs and love my friend
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tjanddj Jul 29, 2017 12:01 AM
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So glad you got through that moment! Sure hate to see you go back to smoking and then suffer a horrible death like my husband did. Excellent choice not to smoke!
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Magstoyou Jul 29, 2017 12:54 AM
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When I would get in that state, which was last week. I'd say to myself. Smoking is not an option!!
Glad you didn't smoke.
Mags 1473DOF
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Giulia Jul 29, 2017 1:26 AM
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"all I want to do is cry,... smoke and feel like a failure..."

You want to feel like a failure? I DON'T THINK SO! And you aren't! Because you paid attention to your quit. I wrote reams prior to this and lost it all. I'm old and I'm gonna die anyway too. But one thing I know for sure, Izzy, is that I never want another Day One. And I will never be a satisfied smoker. But I am a much more satisfied quitter.

And YOU have control over your back yard. If their "good intentions" turn out to be "taking advantage of Mom" then that's not something to smoke over but it is something to deal with and (if I may be so bold as to say) set rules and regulations. Like - "let's go out and look for a JOB!" Living in an RV isn't exactly homeless. Especially when MOM is gonna pay the bill for the electricity.. whatever. Sorry - but I'm just going on my emotions based on your unhappiness with them moving into your back yard. If this new scenario causes you enough distress to contemplate smoking after almost 4 years - that's a rather major distress that needs to be dealt with up front.

The way to not feel like a failure is to set goals, limits and stick to them. We did that with quitting, and we can do that with all areas of our life.
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Diannnnn Jul 29, 2017 7:50 AM
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Hey, nice to "meet" you. I am so glad you came here and didn't give in to the nicotine monster! I agree with Angie, you being here helps us newbies and makes this community valuable. This really reinforces the reality of our addiction; we can never totally let our guard down. We get stronger with every minute of our quit, but we can also become more vulnerable if we forget to be mindful of our weaknesses.

Congratulations on making the good choice! I hope I can do the same when life tests my resolve.

Dian
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jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 Jul 29, 2017 8:45 AM
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things change. tell them your concern and they may work harder to overcome the situation instead of settling into your yard.
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elvan Jul 29, 2017 9:11 AM
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I am so glad to get up and see that you are back to yourself. PLEASE put yourself first. You have earned that place, unlike a toddler having a tantrum who needs a time out...although time outs don't sound so bad as an adult, do they? I wish you did not have to go through this but you are here, you are talking about it and you are going to get the strength that you need to make the right decision for you.
XOXO,
Ellen
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jconfusion Jul 29, 2017 9:40 AM
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we are all dying, but this doesn't sound like a good enough reason to smoke. it just sounds like an excuse.
ive been here and said those same words, but ive been cig free for 5 years, and it feels good to breath, some of my old friends have copd, and ive seen people who have a hole in there throat it didn't phase me I just kept on smoking and a psychic told me I was going to die of cancer I still smoked. but I ended up quitting for my cat. I remember some 50 year old lady swearing kids don't get cancer from second hand smoke. she was just convincing herself to keep on smoking. my point is that smoking is an addiction and some times it takes a couple times of trying to quit. its changed for me when I decided to take the first steps to my endless journey of staying cig free. it really is tough addiction. goodluck dear we cant know jow strong we are until we the first steps. good luck sweetie!! we are all here for ya!
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crazymama_Lori Jul 29, 2017 9:47 AM
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glad to hear you're feeling better. I would sit down with them and develop a game plan to get them back on their feet again, help them with a budget or give suggestions or perhaps set up a meeting with a financial planner that you know with their permission, of course. Sometimes when we feel that there's a solution and we're part of it, we feel less helpless
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BonnieBee.quit.2.8.15 Jul 29, 2017 10:02 AM
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You brought it from the darkness of your mind into the light by coming here to Ex ! Think of the name you chose ,New Life ! I am so glad you decided to blog rather then smoke !
I am 2 1/2 years into my quit journey and the thought of going back to day 1 is absolutely chilling to me and worse would be to come here and have to tell all the wonderful people what I did .......these thoughts have kept me from the one cigarette that would send me back to full time smoking ! ( NEF =Never ever forget )
I can relate to how you are feeling that, " I don't care anymore" feeling it is scary and I hope the next time it comes around to me i will be as wise as you were in coming to share those feelings and I hope the newbies learn this lesson from you New Life !
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Barbara145 Jul 29, 2017 10:27 AM
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Good morning. You and I are about the same age and we quit at the same time. We have a lot of things going on physically, emotionally and spiritually. Our brains are aging, Female hormones a thing of the past and facing our own mortality. I know this, God made you for a purpose. When I feel worthless and fearful I turn to the Bible. "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of The Lord forever." Thinking of you dear lady. Glad you are feeling better.
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Christine13 Jul 29, 2017 11:51 AM
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So glad you didn't throw away your beautiful quit NewLife!! I sometimes think the same way, I'm old, I'm going to die anyway so what's the point? Well ya, we will all die, but I don't want to hurry up the process and die sooner. I have kids and grandkids who love me. You have kids that love you and you have a purpose for yourself to help get them back on their feet. I didn't see your blog last night, but again, I am so very,very, relieved you didn't smoke. You have been and given so much help and support on this site! Thank you!!
sending love and prayers for you that your kids will get back on their feet soon.
xo
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Sootie Jul 29, 2017 12:23 PM
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Goodness...sorry I missed this post last night! I see you are in one of "those" places we all get in once in awhile....feeling like nothing matters. But, many things do. You are helping your son and his wife....apparently they trusted you enough to turn to you when they ran across a rough patch.. You quit smoking! What an accomplishment. You can probably figure a way out of tough times if you put as much effort in as you did to quitting. We all know that is a lot of work. I don't know how old you are and you are certainly right-----we will all die someday. But don't you want to live while you're here? If you are going through some tough times, smoking can't possibly help......for one thing....it's expensive. Don't add another expense to tough times.
I see you have QUITE A FEW friends here on EX......look at all those replies.
Now, let's see-----
1. Helping family
2. Working a way out of tough times
3. Saving money
4. Love of friends
You seem to have a number of things here which should motivate you not to smoke.
Stay Strong.
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newlife5 Jul 29, 2017 4:58 PM
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thanks everyone for your advice... I will be ok now... a lesson to the newbies... if you wait it out the feeling will go away... then you can deal with what caused it... thanks again
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- Angie_machado @ newlife5 on Jul 29, 2017 6:06 PM
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  Thank you for not smoking yesterday and teaching me such a valuable lesson! Just wait it out! Your so smart, I told ya yesterday that you could teach us newbies a thing or two. Keep up the great work! You inspire me.
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going on 4 years now...feeling like i dont care...

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