I MADE THE PLEDGE

[12Finally34]

Today, 9:00 AM, I pledge not to have first puff.  

I tried quitting many times and relapsed

This time with new information about cigarettes, triggers, cravings.  Receiving the support on and off line, and accepting 2 facts from Carr's reading:  I am addicted to nicotine and brainwash my brain. 

Just a few days ago I was afraid to commit to a quit date.   Also, I complained about reading Carr until I took the bloggers' suggestion to read.  Now, I swear by his book!!  

This time of the night, I would be tearing up my house looking for a butt or a pack of cigarettes I lost.  

Brunch will be the true test.  

Will I dress like a wild woman to get to a bodega or will I use the 100 things to do list?

12Finally34

[YoungAtHeart]

I suggest one of the 100 things!

You ARE doing this!  Good for you!

Nancy

[Angie_machado]

You sound like you've got the right mindset this time!  This site is so helpful and the people here are wonderful.  Keep reading, posting, blogging!  I believe it is the key to obtaining and keeping a smoke free life.  You will do this.........we got your back.

[maryfreecig]

Decision made. Alright, then, keep working your quit.  Congrats.

[Giulia]

It won't be final until you choose to make it so.  Bodegas don't exist in your world any more.  Do they!

[elvan]

CONGRATULATIONS!  I am really happy for you.  What exactly is a bodega anyways?

[12Finally34]

Sometimes I outdate myself.  

In my community these are mini grocery stores who sales loose and regular cigarettes

The grocery stores are known as bodega back in the day.  I have to find out what they are called now.  The generation and economy has changed in my neighborhood.  

I had a busy day.  I was in open space.  I sat with the non smokers.  When I looked and envied the smokers, I remembered Carr's suggestions - don't envy but have empathy.  

The socializing without the cigarette was different.  I didn't have to worry about blowing smoke in someone's face.  

Didn't have to worry about where to put the cigarette butts. I didn't have to overspray myself.   i kept a water bottle in my hand and drank when ever the urge hit.  

Staying away from the first puff is easy with no stress.  

Will continue to pledge to be non smoker and vigilant about my recovery from nicotine.

 .  

[elvan]

GOOD FOR YOU!  I am so happy for you.

[12Finally34]

Today is the third day and it was wild.  

Had a nightmare - woke up smelling and tasting nicotine.  

Agitated until I read strategies for anxiety.  

Stayed busy by eating, walking and using Carr's information.  

I went to a meeting and got support from ex smokers and they were really encouraging.

Today, anything and everything was a trigger and I had to use all the new information.

One thing I know as a nicotine addict that I will never be cured and my desire to quit has to be stronger than my triggers and cravings. 

[elvan]

12Finally34‌ No, you will never be "cured" so to speak but you can spend a lifetime in recovery.  You quit will get stronger and stronger and your craves will get weaker eventually.  They will throw tantrums...they will try to convince you that you cannot live without them, that you cannot socialize without them, that you will eat the entire grocery store without them, that none of your clothes will fit...oh, the lies they will tell you.  Be ready, they are tricky and sneaky.  Going to a meeting and getting support is wonderful and coming here and blogging is wonderful.  You do not EVER have to smell like an ashtray again, you do not EVER have to sneak around trying to find a place where you can smoke, you do not EVER have to endure the looks of people judging you for being a smoker.  (I try really hard not to do that because I remember how horrible I felt).  You can get to know the person you were always supposed to be, the ways that you will grow are ways you never imagined.

Congratulations.