After All This Time....

[Jennifer-Quit]

After all this time - 1,176 days to be exact, I had a very vivid smoke mare last night.  It seemed so very real.  In my dream, I had totally relapsed and all that I could think of was how am I going to tell my EX friends.  I felt ashamed and embarrassed.  I was so relieved to wake up and realize that it was only a dream.  So big thanks to all of you - it really helps having someone (actually many someones) that I have to be accountable to.  New quitters - Stay close to this site and the people here.  This can be one of your most important quit aids!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

Congratulations 1176 DOF! Yes, memories, smoke mares, even temptations and triggers can happen even after Years of quitting but they happen less frequently, with very small intensity (unless we allow them to dwell and grow) and are very easy to shake off! Complacency and Alcohol are our enemies! 

I'm so grateful to you, Jennifer for generously giving and sharing! You are a Winner!

[Diannnnn]

I was having a pretty intense crave this morning and one thing that popped into my head was the embarrassment I would feel if I gave in and had even a puff. How would I face you guys, my family, my friends? I even thought, well, I could have one and not say anything. Then the huge guilt I felt just having that thought let me know that it wasn't an option. It would destroy everything I have worked so hard to build. I rushed on here to do my daily pledge!

Luckily I don't remember my dreams upon waking. Smoking in my dreams would make it harder think.

Thanks for sharing, it does help to know we are in this together!

Dian

[Bree19]

Gosh Jennifer_Quit_05-01-14 Blog After all that time!  A smoke mare!!  That's over 3 YEARS!!!

Who'd have thunk?  Shows you, there's a reason the wise ones say "stay close to the site".  

Newbies, please do not think you can spend a couple of months here and then keep your quit safe.  This community is responsible for SO MANY successful, longtime, forever quits.  Talking here, whining, celebrating, sharing - it all adds up to making your quit last.

Jennifer with a smoke mare after 3 years is just a scary thought!

Bree

[Jennifer-Quit]

Didn't mean to scare you Bree -   I am not sure what could have triggered this dream because I don't crave or want a cigarette, and I am not under much stress these days.  

[YoungAtHeart]

I had a smokemare this week - after FIVE years!!!  It was very vivid.  I was with a bunch of smokers, and someone offered me a cigarette.  There was like a blinding light that lit it up and it was this INCREDIBLE white color (no filter!).  I lit it, smoked it, and enjoyed every last minute of it!

How odd!  The only explanation I have is that I have been stressed out lately, worrying about this femur healing, still dealing with living on crutches after 16 weeks. 

Newbies - don't be worrying about it!  It's easy to dismiss and it is SO nice to wake up and realize it was a nightmare.  It just shows how strong this addiction really is.

Nancy

[elvan]

Jennifer-Quit  It absolutely does help to have people you feel accountable to and people you KNOW support your quit in all of its ups and downs.  I have been pretty lucky with the smoke mares...either I don't have them or I don't remember them.

Congratulations on 1176 DOF!

Ellen

[Strudel]

Such a great reminder Jennifer - to always be vigilant. I think that given how long we smoked - it pretty normal to have these smokemares once ina while. Congrats on always knowing how to protect your quit! 

[crazymama_Lori]

Bree19  smoking will always be a part of your life.  You spent a lot of your time with it.  It likes to invades our thoughts when things are stressful or one of the other countless triggers we had in the past or even a memory popping up out of nowhere.  It's only a thought.  Think of it as not scary but as when you smell a fresh baked pie and your memory takes you right back to your grandmother.  it works on the same theory.  You just need to treat them when they pop up out of nowhere or evade our sleep as boy, I'm sure glad I don't do that anymore

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Girl, it was those hotdogs you ate the other day. Hmmm just saying.  But for real, glad it was only a smokemare.  Congrats on 1176 DOF. Thanks for all you do here.  Yay!!!!!