What am I missing? I feel like I'm sktizo - great for 4 days then a trigger flips a switch and I'm driving to buy a pack.
The compulsion to smoke, no matter how compelling will not kill you! Smoking will! By accepting that truth, we make a 100% Commitment to not smoke for any reason under any circumstances no matter what! I can't take that in for a Month or even a Week. I may not even be able to wrap my head around it for a whole Day. But I can live it - moment after moment after moment and moments stack into Days that stack into Weeks - Months - Years of FREEDOM!
Ride the Wave!
The Push and Pull
HardHead2 Try being honest with yourself, what exactly do you expect that cigarette to do for you? I can pretty much guarantee that it will do nothing FOR you but it will do a whole lot TO you. Figure out your triggers, read about this addiction...it is a lifelong journey to freedom, it is not something you get over. As Thomas said, no crave ever killed anyone, I don't think there is a person who will tell you the same about smoking. It is NOT WORTH it...says the woman who had both of her diseased upper lobes surgically removed in November of 2015. It is not a surgery I would recommend. That was for emphysema, COPD. Am I better? Well, I am alive, I am short of breath but I am alive. This is really a life or death decision. NOPE, Not One Puff Ever is not just a cute saying.
Welcome to EX,
Welcome to our community!
A thought is not a call to action. When you get that thought, DON'T respond to it. Get busy doing something to get your mind on something else.
The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I am glad you are familiar with Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” What did you learn from it? I hope you learned that the only thing you are doing by smoking a cigarette is alleviating the stress CREATED by the last cigarette you smoked.
Preparation and planning are important as you prepare to quit. You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php
After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
the law of addiction
Well welcome a'board skitzo! We're all skitzo when we try to quit. Stop reading the Carr book. It's obviously doing NOTHING for you. Listen to us instead. But really listen to us. And find those posts and responses and people who push the right buttons for you. Time to soften that hard head of yours. And that takes an open mind and a willingness to relinquish previous beliefs you may hold about smoking and quitting. It also means being willing to be uncomfortable for as long as it takes to achieve your goal.
What are you missing? What do you want? is my answer. If you want to be smoke-free you'll do everything in you power to become so. You'll make it the priority of your life. What you're missing, in my opinion, is the total commitment. And what that commitment entails. It's not just saying "I'm quitting tomorrow!" It's educating yourself about the addiction - not Allen Carr's version - YOUR version, YOUR relationship to YOUR addiction. What sacrifices are you willing to make? What excuses will you become acquainted with that you'll forego? What tools and steps will you employ when that 4th day trigger is knocking you to the mat? You need to ask yourself questions and come up with answers.
You're obviously here asking for help because you really want your freedom from this addiction. Sit back, relax and read. Just read. Read the Best of Ex material, read in Relapse Traps, read the blogs of the Elders. Education about the addiction is what set most of us long-term quitters free of it. Because when we really "get it," and what I mean by that is what smoking really does to us in all aspects of our lives - the commitment becomes so much easier. And also - learn to accept the journey, this rite of passage. For if you, in your heart of hearts, don't really accept the choice you've made to quit - you will always be unhappy with it and thus constantly open to relapse. Reading, education, helps us learn to accept and embrace the choice to be free.
Welcome a'board. Keep blogging. Support is a two-way street and a great tool throughout process.
Thanks so much for knocking me upside my hard head. It's commitment! I read and read and read and understand the addiction, but I'm not committing my whole to the process. I've visited this website for years, but never reached out. Having folks to be accountable to, and learning from, is filling a missing piece of the puzzle. Many thanks to all that have reached out!!!
I always told myself give it 30 days, hang on for 30 days, don't give in for 30 days. After that, it was week by week. After that, it was month by month. After that, it was a year. After that, it was a year and a half. After that, reaching for the 2-year mark on January 25th. Identify those triggers, replace the impulse to grab for a cigarette with something else. This go-around find out within you what makes you think smoking will solve everything and anything. Ask yourself, really is that calming me or should I simply try deep breathing for a few minutes? Work on that something in you that craves that cigarette and tells you that will only help. We're an unusual breed, you and I. We are not the weekend warriors that go out and party and smoke and then never think about it or pick up one until the weekend rolls around again. To us, cigarettes are like a potato chip........ one is never enough
Obviously you have to commit. Most of us here smoked for 40 - 50 YEARS! But we don't smoke anymore. we have chosen life for our own personal reasons. Please join us.
It's good to hear that what is new with you in your desire to quit, is that you are willing to reach out. I knew I had to stop the smokes first, but after that, I've come to understand, I have to relearn life to break the addiction. And of course eternal vigilance is so important.
If this is how it is going for you on your own, you made a smart decision to speak up! Sounds like you really want to get out of the addiction, keep coming around and share your journey.
What To Expect In The First Four Months
Day 2 and I'm feeling slight cravings, but I know they're just there to drag me back to the pit again! I'm much more positive from the encouragement I've been receiving from ya'll. My wife gave up months ago. Thanks for your feedback.
Good for you...it really is kind of a schitzo journey at the beginning but it gets so much better. Hey, you already KNOW that you have been through this before. Do the reading, lean on us, yell at the computer. I am so glad that your wife stopped months ago, I think that is really going to help both of you. She can share what she has been through and you can ask for her help.
We are here to help,
thank you for sharing and for helping me to stay quit no matter what...the Serenity Prayer helped me through the mood swings and chew double bubble and drinking tons of water and eating oranges and reading blogs and taking suggestions to read at whyquit.com with Joel and there is a video of early death videos from using nicotine...Bryons video saved me and busted my denial....it wont happen to me.....I thanked his family for saving my life with his sharing his video....the prayer.... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference....also it was suggested I be honest with myself......pray to be open minded to change my thinking...my old mindset....to others who think NICOTINE FREE DAY BY DAY......new ideas..and to also......pray for the willingness to be willing with myself...I am powerless over nicotine....I am a RECOVERING NICOTINE ADDICT IN THE NOW MOMENT....blog blog blog BEFORE YOU USE NICOTINE OVER YOU...this is what was said to me....on Jan 6, 2011.....I blog blog blog and only BY GODS GRACE FOR ME...I still come read and share when I get to the library to use their free computers for 2 hours......I am grateful to you for helping me remember all God has done by blessing me with you and all here who STAY QUIT NO MATTER WHAT...for ME...I trust my Higher Power who is God....and God has kept me in His love my Lord Jesus........please take what helps and let go of the rest....the only suggestion----stay in the moment and remember.....blog blog blog first......gentle hug and keep on keeping on.
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