Hi All,
Early April while getting my blood pressure checked, I broke down crying to the nurse practitioner about my anguish over “wanting” to stop smoking and my “inability” to quit. She prescribed Bupropion to help but she gave me no other guidance. In my search for more information, I found the “re-learn life without cigarettes EX” quit guide and subsequently this forum. I’ve been following it for over a month. My quit date is midnight June 30th 2017.
I’ve stopped before; twice for Lent and a couple times because I was trying to quit. The longest I went was about 3 months. This forum has helped me better understand why my previous attempts didn’t work. Besides my ignorance about nicotine addiction, I recognize my mindset has worked against me.
The quit guide asks us to list why we want to quit. I had a hard time answering the question because deep down I don’t want to quit and if I don’t want to quit, no matter how often I try, I won’t succeed. I am frightened I won’t quit. My realization sent me into despair. Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life loathing myself for smoking and feeling too weak to do anything about it? . I changed my approach to the question. I asked myself, why don’t I want to quit smoking and the answers were interesting: I can’t imagine my life without cigarettes, I feel fear at the thought of never having another cigarette, I don’t know what I’d do if I don’t smoke, how will I fill my time, what would I do when the oral urge hits me and what if I’m too addicted to stop. These are just a few of the reasons I thought of and then it hit me, if this is truly how I feel and what I think, I mine as well not even try to quit. I need to believe myself capable of accomplishing this task. I see a common thread. All of the reasons are rooted in fear. It’s a fear of the unknown of my having to learn to live my life differently. I need to find a way to mentally and emotionally move into a space of “wanting to quit” in spite of my “wanting to continue.” I asked myself to list reasons why it is in my best interest to quit in spite of not wanting to. I don’t know if I’m fooling myself but I feel if I can list reasons why it’s in my best interest, I can use them as my tools to fight with. The biggest reason stopping smoking is in my best interest is because I have used smoking as a means of invalidating myself. It has given me a reason to think negatively about myself. I believe stopping smoking is in my best interest because it is a demonstration of self-love and a sign that I believe myself valuable. I believe stopping smoking is in my best interest because it will allow me to demonstrate that I have the fortitude to face challenges and not give up on my ability to overcome a challenge.
I’ve read and downloaded many articles from negative self-talk to will I miss smoking forever. I’ve identified many triggers in my daily routine and I have practiced separating the trigger from smoking. I recognize it might be best to eliminate alcohol and the occasional pot smoking.
I know some of the challenges I will meet. The 1st day I’ll wake up scared and as the day progresses I’ll begin experiencing emotionally painful thoughts and cry off and on. I’ll get on and off the pity pot. The second day, the oral cravings will kick in. There is one huge difference; I’ll have this community to turn to for help and encouragement.
Welcome to our community
I think you might add some things to your list of reasons to quit. How about freedom from having to plan when to smoke, how and where; saving money spent on slowly killing yourself when you could spend it on something GOOD for yourself, instead; the obvious health benefits; no longer smelling like an ashtray ( I think you will be surprised how much you stink as a smoker),
Most of us felt anxious as we approached our quit dates; it's natural to fear the unknown. The more you know, the less unknown it will become. I don't know what you've read, so I will give you all the material I normally recommend.
The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:
http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmokingonline.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested in My Quit Plan http://www.becomeanex.org/my-quit-plan.php
After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy