We Always Go With What We Know - Relapsed

Discussion created by crazymama_Lori on Jun 16, 2017
Latest reply on Jun 17, 2017 by plug66

Ah, the mystery of relapse. What causes us to relapse after being quit after perhaps months or even years of being quit? What makes us just throw in our reserve and go back to what we know? Could it be that we are of the thought that magically in X amount of days that the thought of smoking somehow will disappear? Somewhere in the back of our minds, are we of the thought that after 10 days we're cured and we'll never think of smoking ever again? Are we of the thinking that in some amount of days we will never ever have the urge to smoke? An urge is an impulse. An impulse is something we can control. It's not involuntary. It's a conscious thought of something. How we react to the thought is the important thing. It took me four years to finally get it right. I'd have so many starts and stops in that four years. Never anything that I would even consider a “quit” during that time.


You know, my friends, I've had the fleeting thought when things get stressful around here, especially since I have my drama queen back in the house who is an active smoker, of just saying screw this, I'm going to the store. Now, what stops me? Because I've learned that life does not stop on its axis just because I stopped smoking. I've realized that life as I know it must be dealt with in a different manner. Yes, “must” is a strong word, but if I want to be successful, I have to abide by that word. I think what made everything click was when I also was searching for alcoholism and drug addiction. I have the curious mind. I wanted to see the similarities between the two or even if there was one. Amazingly we do have quite a few similarities. Do the nonsmokers of the world deal with life differently? Do they use the EXCUSE to deal with the problems of that day? If they did, we'd have a world of only smokers and alcoholics and drug addicts.


The psychological hold will take on the bargaining stage at times. Now, pay attention to the bargaining. In my case, I never had knee issues before when I was a heavy smoker. I may have been short of breath but I never had pain in my knees. I always had loads of energy when I smoked. I did most of my smoking in the morning and then in the middle of the night and wondered why I never could go back to sleep. I always was sharp as a tack when I smoked. I could multitask and remember things easily. I was never easily distracted. I took a lot of smoke breaks, but I got more work done.


Now, let's take out the bargaining. I have knee problems now because of my weight gain. And because of the knee problems, less activity. I have no problems now going back to sleep when awakened at night. I had loads of energy because I was giving myself hits of dopamine on a steady stream constantly. Find different ways to achieve that. Here's a good article to read: There are some days that yes, I have to write down things to remember them, but usually it's because I didn't sleep well the night before. The cigarettes didn't fix that. I just sometimes need to take power naps during the day instead of looking for my quick fix.


My way of thinking is all these things existed, all these problems existed before I quit.  We just have to learn how to react to them differently.  Life doesn't magically get better when we quit.  There is no wand that waves when we light up either.  The world doesn't stop when we stop.  It just simply moves on. We all have to learn to react to life as nonsmokers, former smokers.  How do nonsmokers, someone who never smoked in their life, adjust to these things, react to just life in general?  What makes us an exception to the rule? Only WE make ourselves an exception. Something to think about......... Blessings to you all.