Not Smoking is a Good Thing!

Discussion created by gregp136 on May 14, 2017
Latest reply on May 16, 2017 by gardenancy8

Yes, it is a good thing.  My being here is a very good thing.  At the same time, though, I need to accept the fact that a part of me is going back to those pre-nicotine days when I was a 20 year old pup. 


People have been very kind when it comes to my minor moodiness some days.  It isn’t often, and certainly not a deep depression, but just a feeling of sadness. Most days, I have of too much energy.  I am up and about a lot, unable to sit, and needing to “burn off energy.”


Yes, I know this very well could be my body adjusting to no nicotine.  It may continue, off and on, for a while.  Then it may dissipate and I will go on to a more normal existence. On the other hand, it may not.


Before I quit smoking, my moodiness was frequent.  I would often hide from peer, and just prefer to be alone.  At the same time, I could not sit for long.  My attention span was very short, and as a result, my schooling suffered.  I was the poster boy for “underachiever” from first grade to the first 2 years in college.   Barely got by and did almost nothing in school for 14 years except day dream.


I then started self-medicating with nicotine.  My Grades soared.  I graduated from college.  It covered my moodiness.  Looking back, the difference was amazing.    I do not know what would have happened if I had not used nicotine.  I will never know.


I have now stopped the nasty smoking, and so some of the same issues are returning.  I welcome them.  They are my real feelings.  I am slowly getting to know me without the haze of nicotine.  It is fun, and interesting.


So when I am a bit down some days, know that it is just part of me.  I love the support of you all, good and bad days, but know that these are just a few of the quirks that come with being me.  It will also be interesting to watch how it changes from day 58 to day 229 to day 1,783.