A certain friend is the nervous type and chain smokes i allowed him to stay a week and i relapsed.its happen in the past around this person.
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A certain friend is the nervous type and chain smokes i allowed him to stay a week and i relapsed.its happen in the past around this person.
I'm sorry to hear you relapsed. Does this friend persistently Pressure you to smoke or you give in on your own? Your quit and your health should be the most important thing. If that means losing a friend, well, I hate to say it but you may want to distance yourself from that friend.
Agreed.
KOKO,
I'm so sorry to hear this. Will you get right back on track?
I have to agree with Kristen - this is not a friend you want to be around if you keep losing your quit.........but
you must not have accepted yet that you are not giving anything up. Of the two of you, you are the strongest and will become a free person in time. They will not. Remember, too, that they don't want to smoke, they HAVE to smoke. They want what you had - freedom from addiction.
Please quit again soon! Accept that what you seek is more important than a momentary hit of dopamine!
Nancy
Well, it it's happened in the past around this person, then you obviously know this person is a major trigger for you. If you just recently relapsed, I hope you'll jump right back in the game immediately. If it happened a week or two or a month ago, I still hope you jump right back in the game ASAP. You've posted this because, presumably, you want to re-gain your quit freedom. You posted this as a question. What exactly is your question? This looks more like statement to me.
Smoking is a choice. Did he encourage you or force you to smoke?
Thank You Tracey for being brave enough to come here and share! I hope you get back up onto the Freedom Train ASAP! Your FREE ticket is waiting at the window. We're all reaching out to you hoping you rejoin us!
We can't say it enough - Quitting isn't an Event you do and then move on with your Life. Quitting is a Lifelong Journey! We take each step forward on a daily basis. We don't have to dwell on it after a few Weeks but we do have to recommit and remain vigilant. The Law of Addiction applies no matter how much time we have behind us.
Tracey, good morning....so sorry to read about your troubles....(God knows I've had mine) This staying quit business may not be as hard after a substantial amount of time has passed, however, it still needs to be acknowledged that it can come back on us @ any given time, and any given circumstance. Addiction doesn't need a grand event to become a presence in our lives again....it is always a significant element in our lives "FOREVER!"
We don't just wake up at some point in our lives and become "cured" of our addiction....no, we simply become familiar with the addictive nature, and learn to live within it's boundaries. Not in fear of it, or enslaved to it...simply aware of it's presence and NEVER take it lightly. Just one drag, and poof! There it is....back into our bloodstream, and triggering our minds into calling out to us to light up another.
You know what needs to be done. Heck, you have been doing it for over a year, so it's not like you don't know what to do. Just find the willingness to get your stuff together and get after it again. The sooner the better. btw, feeling sorry for yourself will not serve you well either. Nobody is going to pass judgement on you here. Certainly not anyone worthy of being here anyway. You are most likely going to be your harshest critic.
As someone who quit for over 13 years with a perfect quit, and resumed for another 15 years after that...only to come back here and just now get to 351 days again....I assure you, YOU are your biggest obstacle. Get out of your own way, and do what you need to do NOW!
Pops 351 DOF....
Just thinking out loud ...
If I was a year into my quit, (I remember those latent, sneaky cravings,) and I was going to have over a friend for a week that smoked, I just might wonder if it would be a good opportunity to give myself permission to have a smoke or two. For old-time's sake, because there's a defined window for stopping again; I can't wait 'til my friend gets here.
If I was a real friend I would share the joys of improved health, freedom, and the incredible $$$ savings of quitting smoking; challenge him/her to quit for the week they're staying with me; not secretly hope they offer me a smoke.
A real friend of mine, if they wouldn't join me in my achievement, would understand if I asked them to smoke outside, (while I stayed inside.) I am an addict. The same excuses and pleas lurking in my mind will be excusing and pleading when my friend is gone; even stronger if I give in, (again.)
I am an addict. I can't undo that. But I can choose whether or not I am a smoker.
Two sets of seasons
How about you just quit again, as soon as you can? You know how to do it, get back on track and you'll regain your self-esteem! As for your friend, have an honest conversation and make clear you have objective, and you need respect.
You can do it!
It's not that persons fault Traceylyn. Just sayin.
Keep on keepin on,
traceylyn I am so saddened to read this, so saddened that you smoked, no matter what, no matter how long you had been free. This "friend" of yours cannot smoke in your home and you cannot allow it, I think you would be better off cutting the ties with him until you feel as though there is no chance that his smoking will become yours. DO get back to your quit as soon as possible, before more damage is done to your body and to your resolve.
I commend you for coming here and telling all of us...I do wonder why you have not been here more often. Coming here is food for your quit, reading blogs, commenting, seeing how others are doing. Your quit was clearly starving. We want to help, not make it harder.
Best,
Ellen
I wish I had some magical words that were going to make you feel better. I don't.
I wish I could say you will never do this again. I can't.
I wish I could say you will quit again forever. I can't
But you can achieve anything YOU put your mind to. If you want it, it will be.
~Jaime
Your friends are friends but your quit is your BFF life. Which is more important?
The lure of the cigarette-- all the happiness, pleasure, comfort that it promises to deliver, is nothing more than a trap. Because this is an addiction, the best way out is to start again and put your smoking in the past.
I smoked cigarettes for a long time--but it was always an addiction. I'd smoke three butts right off in the morning to catch up with my nicotine need. Then I'd taper off to every 40 minutes, then I'd "control" my smoking for the rest of the day. I couldn't wait for the next cigarette, it was always on my mind. Today, I am so relieved to be free of the addiction, free of wanting the next cigarette (the price is eternal vigilance and that's ok with me). I've learned about the addiction, I've accepted that it is my responsibility to say no. It wasn't easy to start and I've had a few dark moments but the more time that passes, the further I get away from the addiction. Yeah!!!!
Look for recovery from this addiction and you will find it.
As hard as it may seem, we all have to distance ourselves from temptation for as long as necessary to maintain our quit. No scolding here - because I have been there, done that. Get started again - your activity on this site is just about non-existent. This place and the people here can be your #1 source of advise and encouragement - but you must use it for it to be effective! Pick a quit date - not too far off - read and prepare - and quit! We will all be here for you!
Oh I do feel so bad for you I have come close a few times in this 2 year quit and I know how bummed out I would feel if I had given in to it ! I live with a smoker and she smokes in the house and in the car with me sure it is harder but as you know it is doable . I had to quit 4, 5 or 6 times before I got to this quit which I hope and pray is a forever quit ....one day at a time .As Pops said above we are addicts and need to protect our quits ! Get yourself ready read about the addiction again if necessary, build up your enthusiasm to quit ,set a quit date and get your freedom back ! So glad you are here ! 
Laughter is good medicine for the head and heart !
That is so funny. Especially since, our failures in completely quitting are such self indulgant whining appeals for attention and sympathy.
As a sober alcoholic three answers come to mind.
PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS !
Essentially, you're saying 'nouns' are her triggers.
I'm new here and only 10 days in, however, I've been where you're at, I needed to hear this. So thank you for sharing. I have quit several times, and one time it was after a year also. I know how you feel. But every time I quit I picked up something valuable for the next quit. One thing I know for sure, It only takes one. I hope you continue to try.
petbo5 Hence the acronym: N.O.P.E. I used it over and over again, this is the longest quit I have had and I am LOVING it!
We all know that relapse happens, probably all of us have been there done that, don't beat yourself up!! You are quitting for you and we are here to support you in that. Learn from your relapse and make sure you know the trigger that got you back to the cigarette so you don't have to repeat that. Get out the tools you have learnt and start again, we all only have today, I have 10 this time and I have had many 10's in the past but his time I'm ready for the triggers, I have a plan and that is the difference for me this time. Please start again and come back..
you allowed yourself to smoke. The first six months, I stayed away from people that smoked. I had to because I knew that chance of relapsing was there. after that, the first encounter was tough but I made it through. Come to the realization that you'll always want to smoke, you just have to choose not to. I now have a smoker living in my house again. She's not allowed to smoke in my house. I could very easily sneak into her purse and take a cigarette, but why? it's just something I used to do. Perhaps you relapse around him or her because somehow you feel you share a bond through smoking, I don't know. I have friends that come over that smoke. They go outside and have their cigarettes and I stay in the house. I don't need to be around it anymore. You have to make that choice and stick with it
I would call this a minor excursion. go back to being you and move on. No big deal my friend. You know better now. Mistakes happen. Thanks for sharing.
NOPE for a reason!
SINAO EVER!
i use to quit for a year and then go back to it, I worked a couple programs , used nrts for a year because I
was afraid I would relapse again, I had a nice counselor and this site.
My husband quit for 6 months and that helped , then he went back to smoking and I didn't, I used the tools I learned here.
I read everything I could read on quitting smoking and the side effects. I went to lungusa, the cancer society., whyquit.com,
and I stayed active here for years. I can't get complacent. Now i feel sorry for smokers, My husband since has taken up vaping. It is much better than his smoking.
I know how important good friends are, I think the smoking outside would help.
i don't need the deadly dopamine fix anymore, I can get great neurotranmitters from exercise.
I hope you can get some hobbies to busy yourself.
you can do this, you did it for a year.
don't beat yourself up over it. Just start again.
go to www.whyquit.com and check out joles pod casts,
surround yourself with positive people that can reciprocate your friendship in health.
if this person is very important to you and vice versa, have them smoke outside.
I would rather breathe than smoke, I don't have to do that to myself anymore.
You can be a great example to your friend,
Get some knowledge behind you , listen to the elders.
carry a picture of you and your family around, My major reason for smoking was that I didn't want my son to see me die of a smoking related disease. I eventually applied it to myself. my son and my famiily are proud of me now. it wasn't easy the first 2 years but it goes by fast once you commit. You have to realize that smoking stops breathing in the long run.
I don't know if you have ever seen a long time smoker struggling to breath and the horid cough they have. I have.
My grandpa died of emphsema. He was my role model for smoking , since I was so young. I thot by smoking I could somehow have a link to him , to carry it on, that was before I learned about the 4, 000 chemicals in cigarettes, and the tole it takes on our whole bodies ,not just our lungs.
I hope you don't beat yourself up over your relapse and by the time you read this, you can be on your way to a reward from the money you saved, I rewarded myself for a couple months and then went to a year. Don't be cheap, start a nice collection of small beautiful things, a new coat, a new pet that you don't want to smoke on., use your imagination, maybe a gym membership . anything you really want.
I could go n and on, its nice to see your blog. ride the train.!
namaste
aztec
yes < I took up yoga , I am gettin gback to it.
Okay. So what now?