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Give and get support around quitting

babydoll2
Member

Non-Smoking Supporters

i would like help to guit

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33 Replies
etcm
Member

Hi Danielle:

I hate to tell you but until your friend really wants to stop smoking he won't be able to. I smoked for 37 years and tried many times to give it up. When I was pregnant (for the baby) when I was sick (hurt too much to smoke) when my kids came home from school with all the alarming info (Mom, you could die and don't you want to quit for me) and none of this worked. Yes, I tried but it is something that must be done for no one other than yourself. There is a website called whyquit.com that gives some graphics that are hard to look at and this website is phenomenal for support. There are so many products available today. Chantix is a great drug if used for short term. Nicitrol Inhaler, gum and lozengers are also very helpful. I am on day 10 and after the first week of hell and I do mean hell, I feel that I just may have beat it this time. I got tired of smelling bad, being an outcast, coughing alot, spending so much money and mostly I was out of breath playing with my toddler grandchildren. I can't run around and play tag without getting winded. My mom smoked for 50 years and now has COPD and chronic bronchitis. She can't walk across the room without getting winded. Her life has changed so profoundly because of the smoking and she quit five years ago, but it was too late for her. I've watched her go down hill since she quit and I don't want that to happen to me. I hope this info helps. Good luck!

Ellen

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parker2
Member

When he is ready to quit he will. Not when your ready. Remember, it's his addiction! 

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cosmoqueen
Member

I agree that nothing will help until the person is ready to quit, but I do suggest buying Allen Carr's book on "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking".  It has a no nonsense approach and it is written by a man who chain smoked for 30+ years.  There are no "scare" tactics - just knowledge and makes you actually think about why you are still smoking when you really don't even want to be.  Ellen Degeneres quit by using his approach. 

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k-tague
Member

What everyone is saying is the absolute truth.  I chain smoked for 40 years.  My wife quit (cold turkey) 7 years ago.  I had told myself when they went over $20/carton I was done.  They were 32 cents a pack when I started.  When they reached $25 in California I moved to Virginia and $15.  A year ago Christmas, I had to go outside and hide from my grandkids.  January, the price was going up over the $20 mark and I made up my mind that I had to do it.  Today is my one year mile stone.  Moral of the story: there are only two choices, accept it or move on.  When the price, both physical and mental, gets too expensive, he will quit.  Not until then.  If anyone says they are going to "try" to quit they have already failed. 

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andrew26
Member

Well today and this weekend is a big test tonight my paraents are coming home but my mom is the only one that smokes and I bowl tonight then go to PA to visit my aunt and uncle who don't smoke. 3 big battles I need to win!!!

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star4
Member

Here here Ellen.  Send him to whyquit.com, read the article on Addiction especially.

Then, it's up to him, you can't do it for him, or want to quit for him.  In the same vein, he can't quit for anyone else either.  He's lucky to have such a good friend. 

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airmanbiker
Member

Hi, I been smoke free for a little over two weeks.  I'm relying on the patch and lozenges and am under a doctor's guidance.  I keep thinking of when I will be weaned of the lozenges and eventually the patch.  I have a strong desire to say smoke free and I can already feel the benefits from being an EX.  I learned what my triggers are and I am using my willpower to not light up when I get stressed.  I will continue to take it one day at a time and work on my efforts to stay smoke free.  Any Suggestions?

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hmcwil1370
Member

Hi! I just wanted to let you know, I'm eighteen and have been smoking since New Years Day of my freshman year in high school. I had a really rough life as a teenage girl who was always adventurous, and of all the things that came and went (as do most things with high school girls) smoking was the single thing that always stayed with me. I don't know if this is how it may be for your boyfriend, but consider that it could be. My boyfriend now is very different than anyone I have ever been with-very good man, clean cut, had never even smoked out of a hookah til we met! At first, I felt like he was trying to change the edgy, fun-loving, go-getter, rockstar-styled girl that I am, but then one day he sat me down and just said, "Babe. I love who you are. I love that you're into music and that you are SO edgy and out there, but I want to spend the REST of my life with you and I can't do that if you're dead." Tears started pouring of course, and I still haven't quit, but the difference is that I'm trying. If your boyfriend really DOES want to quit, and I mean takes it seriously-he shouldn't be too angry if you take his cigarettes and try to moderate them. My boyfriend took my pack (aka my security) of cigarettes yesterday morning on the way to work and gave me one to smoke until he got off work at five. Feeling scared and frustrated, this was hard for me to let him do, but I knew he was doing it to HELP me-not hurt me. Him moderating my cigarettes makes it a lot easier. Non-smokers think that 4 in a day is A LOT when to us veterans know that maybe 10 or 15 is a lot. He helps me realize how much I'm polluting my body and it really helps! If that doesn't work, all you can do is keep believing he will quit. Say things like, "I know you can, babe. You just have to work...HARD!" instead of, "Are you really going to do it this time or are you just saying it again?" Keep up the encouragement. Ellen is right, he does have to WANT to, but even the slightest desire to quit can make helping him change everything. It's something he may not have had much motivation to do if you weren't there to guide him. Good luck! Hannah.

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airmanbiker
Member

It's been 26 days since I becamean EX.  I've had good times when the cravings weren't so bad and I've had days, if ididn't have the lozenegs, I minght have lit up.  I've found it to be little battles at a time.  I look for ways to pass time to give the craving time to pass.  I some times I think of when I'm weaned of the patch and lozenegs and wonder if it will be hard.  I've found that I can react a diffrent way to the triggers that make me want to smoke, not smoking isn't so bad.  The longer I go without cigarettes the more determined I am to stay off them.  I believe I have a good chance at quitting for good and I want to make it.

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