Our internet was out for a little while. I was taking the time to just rest and do what I wanted to do; things I needed to get done and all.
I received the Allen Carr book in the mail from Ebay, it's the entire "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" book. It's longer than the pdf file - I wasn't aware of that. So I have more reading to do.
I have also taken this extra time to really observe myself and the addiction, to see it for what it is, and think how got into this shape; how I began smoking in the first place. Just doing some reflecting on my life a bit.
I've still been writing my poetry. Sometimes it just flows, sometimes it takes a little more effort.
The quit date is coming, but I will be prepared. I AM prepared, and preparing more every day to my greatest ability.
When I first joined here, I was so excited to quit smoking that I would put on a patch and try to go as long as I could without going out to the store to make the stupid choice to smoke again. I don't know if that helped at all, but I believe that with me 'testing' myself before, it has allowed me to see just how grouchy I get and how long I could go before becoming a monster. I'm almost certain that everyone here would agree that that was a very unwise decision (not only messing with my health but wasting money on cigs and patches, among other things).
But now, looking back, I've learned a lot about myself since I've been here on becomeanex. (I hope with me adding this paragraph I don't get too much lashing; as in testing myself, I've realized my limits, and my inner need to expand my limits in certain areas of my life, and keep other limits as they are - such as I need to expand the limits of how long I can go not smoking and keeping my cool at the same time... because smoking a cig has never brought anything but worse health, coughing and hacking around, stress, and stink... just to name a few).
I hope this is understandable. I tried to explain it the best I could.
I'm a bit tired, body's aching from the colder weather coming in. Just wanted to make a blog entry. And let the wonderful people here know: I've been thinking about all of you, and wishing you all the best. I'm glad I decided to stay here, because I know I would not be able to find any other people like you guys.
Hope everyone's doing well. Be blessed, all.