Happy Saturday

[xjamarkx]

Today marks the 8th year that my first indoor dog had to be put down because he had hernias they couldn't fix. If he would have lived, he would be 16 now. He was a white toy poodle. Now, I have his ashes above my bed where I sleep. I can't look at it directly, else I cry and hurt too bad. It makes my heart literally hurt when I cry.

But anyway, Happy Saturday, every one! Rest if you are able, today.

I've only had 4 cigs today, and it's going on 2pm now, but I did have trouble sleeping last night. I may lie down later for more rest. I just wanted to come here to see how every one is doing.

I've been reading a lot of materials from this site. One in particular, which a friend pointed out to me, has been VERY helpful in understanding how the mind and nicotine works. Thomas3.20.2010‌ had an amazing article. I look forward to reading more. I can only read a bit at a time, then my mind gets fuzzy.

I'm also still looking over that Easy way to stop smoking by Allen Carr. It's a bit long, and I can only take in so much info before my brain melts and falls out my ears.

You understand the Brain Drain?  

 (About a hour later)...

I just found a post by someone else that seems very familiar. I will not mention anymore about this, except saying I'm sorry, and doing what I can to improve. I'm sorry that I 'carry my feelings on my shoulders'. I've just NEVER been met with such issues before.

There's nothing I can do about the past except try to make it up to you guys. But holding grudges only brings *you* down.

Now I'm feeling like I really don't want to be a part of this site. Everyone takes everything the wrong way.

Edited on 8/19/2017 @ 11:07PM.
I put a 'strikethrough' on the parts that do not matter anymore. I won't delete it, but just edit with a strikethrough. It's still readable, but it means nothing to me.

Thank you.