virgomama

A FISH OUT OF WATER

Blog Post created by virgomama on Apr 30, 2020

  You need a reason to quit? Here's one.  He's dying.  My mate of 14 years is stage 4 COPD with only 17% of his lung capacity left. His pulmanologist gives him less than 10 years.   He can't walk 10 feet w/o gasping for air.  Oxygen is a 24/7 thing.  Can't go w/o it. 

Excursions into the countryside are now calculated based on how long the portable oxygen machine will last before it overheats.  We go no where w/o the extra oxygen tank.  He says he feels like a fish out of water most of the time. 

All life  is based on the oxygen supply.

He prefers to just stay home.  "I feel safe here," he says.  Because he can reach his oxygen.

It's likely our retirement travel dreams will never come to fruition.  He's retired but I still have 2-3 more years.  Will he even be around?  I have no idea. Can we even do a day trip?  Overnight trip?  He probably won't have the energy or strength.  Instead we will probably be staying on our hobby farm where he feels at peace and safe to pass the final days. 

He knows he's dying and is at peace with it.  Me?  I'm the one that goes on living w/o him.  I'm the one who gets to watch him slowly suffocate; fighting for every breath he takes.  I'll be there when he passes.  I'll face the aftermath. 

Don't want to quit for yourself?  Quit for those you love. 

  This is a wonderful positive uplifting inspiring place to be and I'm sorry for such a disheartening story,  I share it, 1. because I really have nowhere else that may understand my situation and 2.  if someone takes heed and quits then my experience has served a greater purpose. 

The choices we make determine the life we live.  Choose life. Choose freedom.  Choose health.  Choose a fulfilling smoke free life.  Do it now.  Don't wait.

 Cindy

 

Outcomes