virgomama

ANOTHER SEASON, ANOTHER TRIGGER

Blog Post created by virgomama on Apr 2, 2019

 Seems each season I journey through as a non smoker has its own surprises.  Now I understand the warnings of being prepared As you go through each season/holiday for the first time as a non smoker. 

So here it is finally.  Springtime.  Birds singing, ducks migrating back to mate in the pond, the fresh smell of sage and wet dirt lingers sweetly on the air. 

My favorite smoke spot was to sit on the steps and listen to the bird cacophony while lazily puffing away.  Sitting on the pond bench pondering my next spring clean project having another smoke as I decided.  Enjoying the warmth of the greenhouse while fertilizing the soil with my "ashes".

Well this season will be different.  Amazingly so. Because this will be a smokefree spring. I've only thought of smoking as if it is in a distant dream. 

Oh a trigger has definitely risen its ugly head a few times.  And I'm completely frustrated with my daughter's butts.  But it feels foreign now.

The joys of the Earth budding into new life are completely satisfying in and of themselves.  Smoking never really added anything to this experience.  How could it possibly have done so?   What endorphin could it have produced that nature in its glory could not?  It simply could not have. 

The joys I thought were there packed inside that cigarette were an illusion.  There was NEVER anything THERE  but my brain's addiction to the nicotine saying there was.  This Earth, and Mother Nature are REAL.  The joys of Spring are REAL.  The sights, sounds, smells,touches, textures,creatures, plants, relationships are REAL. 

They are magical in and of themselves.  Smoking was simply a by product of nicotine addiction telling me it actually belonged beside this beauty called Spring.  Naw!!!  Not even close.  Not One Puff Ever.  Life is way more beautiful without it. 

Stay with your quit.  It gets more satisfying with each passing day.

Namaste,

Cindy

 

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