Yesterday was a pretty intense day. My emotions were all over the place. From irritation to depression to feeling good back to irritation. I seemed to have a rolling crave going that reminded me of child labor. Oh my, here comes another one, time to breathe. Ladies you know what I'm talking about I'm sure.
I blew lots of bubbles, drank lots of water, told myself I don't do that anymore what else should I do now? I was just too fidgety to sit so I wiped the kitchen down top to bottom, including reorganizing my spice shelf. That took some concentration.
Ripped the dead plants out of my greenhouse after thanking them for their summer service, trimmed my dead hollyhocks and gathered seeds for Christmas bundles. By the way they are classics from early 20th century. The brightest red I've seen. I'll be glad to share seeds.
Had a complaint about everything my partner did or said. Nothing on tv was worth the 50 commercials that came with it. Apologized all day long for my behavior. Poor guy couldn't even hide cause I'd find him.
And yet underneath it all I had this thought of what an incredibly beautiful day it was and how good it felt to be enjoying it. Such an oxymoron in my head. But not once did I think about caving and smoking. I did think about smoking, but it was like a past tense thought. I really don't do that anymore. I really don't.
One of my thoughts all day were the incredibly positive posts that some of you blogged through the week and some of the trials you have faced with such courage and grace.
indingrl staying beside your daughter
Daniela2016 persevering with your mother
YoungAtHeart making your omelette with a cast on
All of you unconditionally accepting with love and courage what has been put before you. And NOPE from any of you. Since I was too fidgety to sit and blog I found myself thinking of those who had much larger challenges to face than a simple crave wave day and I sent prayers and positive energy your way to put myself in service.
Once again, my EX family has seen me through another rough day just through your very presence on this site.
For future readers of this blog just starting their quit journey I would suggest being of service to others even if it's just sending positive thought or prayer on your list of things to do instead of smoke. And remember "This (crave) too shall pass."
God bless and here's to another smoke free sunshiny day.
Cindy
41 DOF
