tw5152017

It Finally Happened!

Blog Post created by tw5152017 on Aug 9, 2017

Oh. My. Gosh!  It finally happened!  Dale jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 asked us several weeks ago to record the first day “we didn’t think of smoking” The First Day You Didn't Think Of Smoking 

 

I don’t know if there will ever be a day I don’t even think about it (I like coming on this site 2-3 times a day), but yesterday was the first day I had no craving at all.  I never even reached for a phantom cigarette, or reach for my trusty coffee stir straw to chew on.  I’ve had some days (even string of days) that were relatively pleasant.  And I was very grateful for them.  But they were only comparatively pleasant if you know what I mean.

 

This NML has been very hard for me.  I love all the support I’m getting, but I’ve been bothered all along that I’m not doing as well as others I see, and wondering if something is wrong with me.  When jbliesmer  posted about her breakthrough at day 60 something, I was so happy for her and hopeful for me since I quit a week after her.  But then I entered the 70’s and then the 80’s and no relief was in sight.  Since I quit 86 days ago, I have not had one crave-free day.  The first week I had the typical physical withdrawal symptoms everyone gets.  At the time, they were awful and I hated them.  But looking back, they seem quaint compared to the over-whelming waves of craving I’ve had in NML.  And even when I didn’t have one of those all-day, or several hour craves, I would still wake up every morning with a very strong physical crave that lasted at least an hour or two.  Which is very strange because I never smoked for an hour after I got up, so waking up shouldn’t be a trigger.  It has gotten so that I dread going to bed at night, because I’m afraid of waking up in the morning.  I was now convinced that this was my new normal.  There must be something different about me, and I am just resigned to being a sort of miserable ex-smoker the rest of my life. 

 

Then yesterday happened!  I noticed right away when I woke up that I had no crave.  I couldn’t believe it.  I even tried to make one come on by mentally imagining myself smoking, and nothing.  I made a mental note to myself to be prepared, because it was certainly coming, and it would probably be a real doozy since I was getting this break.  But then my day happened.  Work, family, and friends happened.  Just plain normal stuff happened.  I did check in on the site a few times, but the actual thought of smoking (or wanting to) never occurred.  When I went to bed last night, I still couldn’t believe it!  And like the morning, I tried to see if I could make a crave come.  Didn’t happen.  Still going strong today!

 

So Dale, for the record, it was Day 85 for me!

 

Tom (86 DOF)

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