I was doing so good! I actually made it all the way through my youngest Daughter's wedding then I guess after all the excitement went away... I just plain got bored. I made it from the beginning of March of '19 to the 1st of June then idle hands came into play, I guess. I thought I had it beat just because of how well I was doing!
Well here I am again. But this is different for me this time only because in previous attempts I didn't tray again so soon. I waited for a year or 2. I'VE GOT TO WIN THIS! From June up until the 20th of November I was smoking again. I let not only my family and friends down but I let myself down.
This is going to be different this time, I pray, because all of the other times I wasn't doing it for myself - I was attempting to do it for others. I'm going to sound so selfish here and truly I hate to "say" this out loud but this time - I'm doing it for Me. No other reason. I see others that have been smoking since their childhood and never quit and they are hurting themselves so badly now. They're not enjoying any kind of life other than their over-frequent trips outside to smoke only to cough and hack the whole time they're doing it. I truly don't want to end up that way, too.
I know part of my falling out was I stopped coming here for accountability and motivation. I thought I had it. I'll be regular here. Along with my Smoke Free app that I highly recommend to any that take the time to read this whining!
Thanks for still being here!