The Three YOUs

Blog Post created by susan.m on Dec 6, 2017

There’s been a bit of buzz lately about The Three Yous, and it’s interesting to think about it from the perspective of quitting smoking.


There’s the YOU that the world sees, the YOU that your family and close friends see, and then there’s the YOU in your head…. The one that you share with no one.  These are your public, your private and personal YOUs.


The public YOU is like a suit of armor that shields your private and personal YOUs.  This is the YOU that you let the world see.  This is the YOU that generally projects success, and this is the YOU that you can easily identify as a non-smoker. 


The private YOU is the one that drops the armor, but still has a protective layer – an outer shell that protects the personal YOU.  This is the YOU that talks almost obsessively about quitting.  This is the YOU that truly wants to quit, but it can be a little harder to identify this YOU as a non-smoker.  Doubts can plague this YOU, and this YOU will second guess itself. 



The personal YOU has no protective barrier.  There are no half-truths, there are no glossy smiles – there’s only you.  This is the YOU that’s in your head, and it’s your best friend, or your worst enemy. This is the YOU that controls your impulses, your thoughts, your reactions.  These are your morals, your emotions, your decisions, choices, secrets and your memories. This is where it gets real.


The personal YOU controls the public and private YOU.  The personal YOU gives you peace. It gives you strength, and it provides you comfort.  The personal YOU reacts to fight or flight.  It is your past, it is your present, and it determines your future.  That you – the one that only you know – is the single most important factor in your quit.  The personal YOU is your truth.   



So, what if we take what we know and turn it around?  What if you let the personal YOU project success?  What if you let the personal YOU laugh about the challenges of quitting?  What if you let the personal YOU identify as a non-smoker?  What if we just let everything else go, and in our private moments truly accept that we no longer smoke?  Could it be that simple? 


When every YOU accepts that you no longer smoke, the battle is won.