I have had thoughts of wanting to smoke. They are not strong cravings but these thoughts worry me nonetheless. I am worried about graduate school. I need a place to stay. I don’t know my schedule. I don’t know about my financial aid. Everything’s up I’m the air. I have a feeling I am going to have to work full time while I’m in school. I don’t wont to do that. I am tired because I have worked everyday since July 15th. It’s starting to get to me. I anticipate being tired like this all the time once I start school. That’s what led me to relapse more than once in the past. I am trying to strike a balance. I don’t want to neglect my recovery from nicotine addiction by fighting my addiction on my own using willpower. That’s why I’m checking in about cravings and being mindful of triggers. At the same time, I don’t want to psych myself out by focusing on the challenges I have. My addiction will tell me I have to smoke, that I can’t make it. That’s a lie. I have a choice. I am making the right choice today by checking in, praying, and consciously finding other ways to deal with the stress. I haven’t exercised in a week so I am going to do that today as well. It helps me clear my mind and think straight.
