I smoked yesterday. It started the night before. I worked a ten hour shift, then went to a meeting, then at 10 pm I tried to do what I needed to do to get ready for the next day. I did too much Wednesday. When I woke up yesterday I was exhausted. I forgot my patch. The craving hit around 11am. I was also withdrawing from caffeine. I chose to smoke instead of putting effort into my recovery program.
I made a commitment last night not to smoke. I followed up on that commitment by throwing away the cigarettes, coming to this website, taking the suggestions. I took the time to process my emotions by journaling instead of stuffing them. I fell asleep before I could post to the blog.
I have had cravings today and addictive thoughts but it is not as bad as the past few days. I am at peace. My life is taking order. I notice the daily benefits of self care. Not smoking is part of that but not all of it. I can’t stay smoke free without doing the other things, like sleep, eating, processing emotions, talking to other people, not pushing myself too hard.