Day 20

[stAn3]

I am still smoke free. I have reverted to eating unhealthy food and using caffeine. I feel bad about it. I don't want to smoke over it. Lack of meal planning and lack of funds lead to the junk food. Feeling miserable after stuffing myself with junk food leadvto powerful cravings for caffeine. I haven't drank any caffeine today and want to stay stimulant free, not just smokefree. The substitution of caffeine played a huge role in my latest relapse, creating a pattern of using chemicals to run from feelings and intensiying depression symptoms.

 I still think about smoking sometimes during the day. Sometimes I want it but most of the time I don't. I can't really call the thoughts cravings, just thoughts. 

I continue to pray to God daily to help me stay smoke free, to take away my desire to smoke, to restore me to sanity.

I still come here everyday, even if I don't post everyday.

I don't let very many days go by without blogging.