I want to thank this community. I feel great. Quitting was the best thing I could have done. Gained a few pounds at the beginning, but guess what? That urgent need to have something near my mouth or between my fingers completely vanished after three weeks. The toothpicks I bought were barely used. It almost feels like I never smoked. And I don't miss it. That's the wildest part to me. I don't miss smoking and I don't miss vaping. If I think really hard about it, there are parts I miss ... but I also remember the gross parts. The terrible breath, the stinky phlegmy coughs, the vape juice burning my lips ... nasty, nasty stuff. It's not worth it and I'm struggling to remember why I ever thought it was. And I'm now back down to my pre-quit weight (which is still too high, but ... one goal at a time!).
I've been pouring myself into exercise, trying to work out every other day, and getting giddy when I can see my improvements. I can run for longer durations, even while wearing a mask, than I have ever been able to. My endurance is up and my motivation is up. Now that I feel healthier inside, it's making me want to be healthier outside. Healthier all over.
I am not sleeping great, but I blame that on coronanxiety. Is anyone else having trouble falling asleep, or, like me, staying asleep? I wake up at 3 or 4 every morning and just lie in bed for two to three hours waiting to fall back to sleep. I hate it.
Anyway. Thank you all, and we're all goddamn rockstars. Find your rockstar inside you. Trust me, it feels really great.