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Roller831
Member

A Slip is not a Fall

This for anyone who may be struggling with one smoke on a great quit.

There once was a man.  He walked for 90 days.  He walked hills and valleys. He crossed oceans and deserts.  He helped many people and many people helped him.  As he was trudging along, he was collecting stones.  He planned on using these stones to build a house.  He found a lot of stones.  He knew exactly how many stones he needed to build his house.  

After walking for 80 days this man came upon a bridge. Under this bridge there lived an evil troll.  The troll did everything he could to make the man fall into the water.  The man held on to the railings with all his might and didn't fall in!  But the troll did manage to cause the man to slip.  When he slipped, he lost a stone.  Just one, mind you.  It fell in to the water.  Lost forever.  The man was frantic.  He was so upset with himself!  How on earth could he build his house without that stone?  He just didn't think the other 4,074 stones mattered without the one he lost!

He started walking again, despondent and alone.  For 10 more days, the man walked.  Ten days.  During that time he considered dropping all the stones, one at a time.  But something made the man hold on.  Those stones had cost him too much to accumulate.  He thought of those first days when the hills were steepest and the oceans widest.  He had worked so hard to accomplish this gathering of stones.  But still, the loss of that one stone caused him so much despair that he couldn't see the amazing thing he had accomplished!

90 days after the man first set out, he came across a group of his friends.  These friends helped him to see many things about his stones.  Each stone had its own value. Each one was important in its own right.  If he had had to pay for these stone, they would have cost him $869...the one he lost was less than 22 cents.  That meant he was 99.9876% successful!!

Do you know what that man did?  He set to work trying to figure out how he could make his house without that one stone!  He decided to just leave it out of one of the walls!  The absence of that one stone meant the man had a window to see through!  Oh, and the things he could see!  The opportunities he now has!

If you look carefully, you can see him now leaning out his window and talking to his friends. Without one stone, you can still build a pretty strong damn house and sometimes it even let's you see things you never would have noticed.

20 Replies
YoungAtHeart
Member

GREAT analogy!

And - If you lapse - don't let it turn into a RELAPSE!  Get started again right away.

Nancy

bonniebee
Member

This a a wonderful analogy ! It should be in the best of Ex ore somewhere that it would be easily accesible for all newbies and even us Elders to see and contemplate ! Thanks for posting it roller831 ! 

Roller831
Member

Please make sure you hold onto your stones!!!  

EXcellent Blog! EXcellent Advice!

elvan
Member

LOVE THIS, it really IS a great analogy, thanks for posting it.

TW517
Member

This really is a great blog roller831 .  It makes me so sad when I see people on this site who lapse, then disappear.  I'm assuming they are ashamed and embarrassed,  and think they will somehow be judged here, when nothing could be further from the truth.  Those who do stay, get the encouragement to start anew (or give up that stone).  

jewlz23
Member

I have stalled my quit a few times since joining. You are right...it is hard to come back and admit to failing but I know it has to be done as accountability is part of the process for me. Otherwise it would bug me to no end to NOT say anything. I would just encourage anyone who this has happened to to come on back and not take to heart if anyone has anything negative to stay even though that negative thing may be coming from a place of heart. I think we all care, we just go about doing things differently from each other. I am wondering if a "relapse" board would help on here? We could learn a lot from each other by documenting what has failed us or helped us. A place where there is no shame and much encouragement to get back on track,  and anyone can easily post about their "slips".  It was hard for me to admit my fourth failing this year. I had 40+ days without a cig. The time before that was 7 or 8 days +/- and the time before that around the same (I lost track of #days) and the time before that I made it 3 days and then just cut back greatly to between 5-7/day, which was still hurting my lungs. But if I look at it all over a year's time. I smoked much less and smoked many days less than last year. That has to count for something. My lungs are happier when I don't smoke. My skin clears up some. So I am going to take each quit session as a plus and not beat myself up over it. I learn more things each time. 

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Giulia
Member

Gotta be careful with slips and dropping stones.  You never know.  It might be the cornerstone of your quit.

Great blog, roller!  

Not to mention starting up withdrawal again. Hi👋

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