today. was. terrible.

Blog Post created by rilokitty on Oct 19, 2020

Day 8, you wouldn’t think Day 8 would be the one to kick my ass right? If it was going to happen, wouldn’t it have been day 3? I couldn’t even concentrate on a trip to the grocery store; the errand stretched out in front of me like a vast anxious depth of ocean. I couldn’t do it. This made me feel incapable. Why couldn’t I “just get it together.”? I always darn well get it together. I couldn’t. I took my first sick day in months and lay in bed trying to just allow myself to feel my feelings, as they say, because hey, whatever these guys say I need to do to quit smoking, I’m going to do this time. I’m disappointed in myself today and when I go on my jog tomorrow morning it will be a new day and today’s events won’t touch me. But for now I’m disappointed even though I had no cigarette or any nicotine substance. Tomorrow is Day 9. Here we go.