princessdeborahd

A SLAP IN THE FACE WITH REALITY TODAY

Blog Post created by princessdeborahd on Sep 18, 2018

I was sitting on the swing in our yard having my coffee when all of a sudden I felt possesed!!  I got up and started walking down to the patio intent on getting 1 smoke from my friend who takes care of the pools.  I've missed hanging out with her and haven't seen her since I started my last quit in June.  I walked up to her and said "I'm up to my old tricks" she looked at me and said "You are absolutely not getting a smoke from me or anyone down here!!  You made us promise not to give you one even if you were begging"  We talked for a minute then I headed back home... walking across the grass I see my friend Kim.  He used to clean the pools.  I would meet him every morning to chit chat, smoke and drink our coffee. I took one look at him coming towards me and knew he was coming down to bum a smoke too!  3 years ago I raced him to the hospital because he was having a difficult time breathing.  They immediately took him and performed a tracheotomy  so he could breathe.  There was a cancerous mass in his throat! He ended up in a nursing care facility for a year...feeding tube cuz he couldn't swallow.  He went through Chemo and radiation.  I visited him often.  He came home and was still smoking! He's been home for a year but still has the tube in his throat! He stopped to talk to me and at that moment, reality slapped me in the face.  If I keep smoking, I could end up just like him!!! After we went our own ways, I cried the rest of the way home.  I'm staying away from the patio and my smoking friends!!!  I will focus on taking care of me and doing the things I love to do! And most importantly coming here! Thank you all for being here on our road to freedom.

Deborah

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