I was sitting on the swing in our yard having my coffee when all of a sudden I felt possesed!! I got up and started walking down to the patio intent on getting 1 smoke from my friend who takes care of the pools. I've missed hanging out with her and haven't seen her since I started my last quit in June. I walked up to her and said "I'm up to my old tricks" she looked at me and said "You are absolutely not getting a smoke from me or anyone down here!! You made us promise not to give you one even if you were begging" We talked for a minute then I headed back home... walking across the grass I see my friend Kim. He used to clean the pools. I would meet him every morning to chit chat, smoke and drink our coffee. I took one look at him coming towards me and knew he was coming down to bum a smoke too! 3 years ago I raced him to the hospital because he was having a difficult time breathing. They immediately took him and performed a tracheotomy so he could breathe. There was a cancerous mass in his throat! He ended up in a nursing care facility for a year...feeding tube cuz he couldn't swallow. He went through Chemo and radiation. I visited him often. He came home and was still smoking! He's been home for a year but still has the tube in his throat! He stopped to talk to me and at that moment, reality slapped me in the face. If I keep smoking, I could end up just like him!!! After we went our own ways, I cried the rest of the way home. I'm staying away from the patio and my smoking friends!!! I will focus on taking care of me and doing the things I love to do! And most importantly coming here! Thank you all for being here on our road to freedom.