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73 DOF and No Man's Land Challenges

princessdeb
Member
3 22 171

#Hi Everyone...I've made it 73 days with major struggles the last few weeks. I had some emotions come up that I haven't dealt with since I quit smoking. My depression was triggered and I was hanging on for dear life.  The just one thought kept going through my head...it was unbearable!!! I got in my car...drove the 2 miles down the dirt road to the only gas station around for miles.  Yes...I bought a pack of cigarrettes!  Opened it up...took out a smoke and just looked at it and broke down crying. I left them in the giant ashtray and headed back home. My addiction was in full swing...I wanted to go back and get them...that thought was consuming me.  I thank God For Ellen elvan .  We've been communicating and she helped get through the rough times.  My depression was really bad and the cravings coming at me hard.  So I took off on a 2 hour drive to visit my best friends, who are ex-smokers.  I stayed a week...we made a deal...no phones...no tablets, No computers.  My mood lifted immediately!  I miss them so much and hadn't seen them in 8 months. I'm back home today and am here getting back to basics.  Re-reading Allen Carr's book.   Here reading blogs and watching videos.  I had an extremely close call..but am making it through today one minute at a time.

Deb 73 DOF 

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About the Author
I'm a retired Business Manager and Make-Up Artist for Estee Lauder Cosmetics. I love living near the beach in beautiful, sunny San Diego, California. I've smoked for 45 years...I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I was in 8th grade...13 years old...a circle of about 6 girls. One of the girls had a cigarette from her brother. We passed it around and I remember coughing but tried it again the 2nd time around. I smoked to be cool when I was in high school. Smoked at parties and the weekends. After I graduated and lived on my own, I smoked a pack a day....everyday until yesterday...6/8/18. I'm here because I want to quit more than anything. I'm 60 years old and pushing my luck! I want to live healthy for 20 more years. I love life!!!