I am still working on the as a matter of pride angle, but like others working to get the monkey off, I get urges. As we all know, or should know, these "Physical Urges" are created by my mind in large and not the nicotine addiction. Nicotine as a drug, can not create rationalized specific urges and the withdrawal/rewards comparison is not where the "Urges" win out because there is nothing compelling about smoking. It doesn't taste good, doesn't make me feel better or happier with myself. The physical urge is NOT that sophisticated. The brainwashing induced behavior monster in my head, with almost no help from nicotine, makes up the tall tales based upon what I know about myself and what I have decided is important in the wild deluge of advertisements and subliminal assaults. As long as I remember that I am making up this Unconquerable Need" all by myself with no help from the nicotine, its actually kind of amusing how deep seated this really is. Amusing is the wrong word. Alarming is more like. Step back to do the third person who knows the truth thing is what I have to keep reminding myself.
