……. that Dale (JonesCarp) has not been here since Mark deleted his comment on Buddy's blog??
That is not good!
IJS
……. that Dale (JonesCarp) has not been here since Mark deleted his comment on Buddy's blog??
That is not good!
IJS
Giulia, if you're in direct contact with Dale, other than this site, would you please let him know that we, (I), need him back here! He said 3 words to me, in the beginning of my quit, that have helped me MANY times to STAY QUIT! Those 3 words were......Willingness NOT Willpower......simple, right? I have also given that advice to others since.
Thank you MOO
Geesh I haven't been here too much since my sister's mastectomy I agree with you 100 % Giulia actually make that 200% if there's such a thing grrrrrrrrrrr! I better take a deep breath before I lose it and really Rant and have this totally deleted! Come back Dale we miss you and need you jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 I don't understand management and I don't want any explanation from him because it just wouldn't be a good enough explanation to suit me........
Thanks for info-will you be bringing update on Dale-love you Tommy!
Not sure what happened (I didn't read the comment) but I think they delete comments because they want to get it across that it's not ok to act like an internet thug on this site and to keep arguments from happening all the time like it does on every single social media site. It's not cowardly, if this site was anything like other sites I've seen out there I know I wouldn't even bother coming to it. If you have something to say that might be offensive then by all means inbox someone so that they can choose whether or not to engage but don't post it out there so that everyone is subjected to it. So that's my 2 cents that no one asked for
desiree465 Good for you for being the voice of reason.......I also have screamed about deleting things and have been totally against it. However, I never looked at it this way........you have a good point and you made it with sense and calm. YAY you!
And even though I am willing to concede that Mark must delete certain things in his job as community manager......that does not mean I don't miss Dale and hope he will come back.
Thank you sootie! I hope he comes back too (I should have said that too)! We need him on here, I'm sure he'll come back though, maybe if we all start bugging him through his in box:)
I had no idea this even happened. I hate to think jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 won't be back. I'm definitely worried and hope he is okay. If you are reading this Dale please know how much you are missed.
Rachel
I'm on here daily and I have not idea what this is all about.
Whatever it was I must have ignored it, as I always do if I'm not interested. Because I'm a grownup and I can make those kind of decisions for myself.
I love good debates, I love hearing the opinions of others, I don't think it's a bad thing to have open discussions here Unfortunately, I don't know enough to have an opinion about this. I do love jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 and he has been here forever so it would be a shame if he didn't come back. He brings laughter and wisdom to the site.
I missed the whole event, and I miss Dale!!! And I think we all do! Whatever could have been said, it was out of a good heart, and I know that from my own experience here. When I was all proud I had quit cigarette, and working to decrease the Nicotine in my vaping device, he commented: "to me vaping is just smoking with a battery". Dale's comment hurt me, I sent him a private IM, but guess what? The next day I quit vaping all together!!! It is this kind of impact "tough love" can have.
Dale has been coming here less often lately, but to totally leave the site, it is going to impact so many new quitters, and even us elders. I miss the smile you put on my face with blogs or comments jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007, get your "person" right back here!!!
I apparently missed it too...I was wondering where Dale jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 was but I wasn't sure if he was just not posting...I don't know anything about it.
Ellen
Well ladies, Sootie and Desiree, I don't these things go together; insulting the most prolific member of the elders team by deleting whatever his comment was, and hoping he'll keep coming back and help, like he did with so many of us through the years. He is after all a person, with opinions and feelings, and his opinions have been dismissed, no questions asked. This was my understanding which transpired from several blogs and comments here, I was not a witness of the exchange.
And I don't think bombarding, and clogging his inbox will make a difference. He already knows our opinions, and how thankful we all are for his contributions, I don't know what will make him change his mind, but this is not it.
Daniela-----respectfully......
Mark doesn't delete things to insult any of us. Mark deletes things because it is his job to manage this site. We may not like what he does......but that does not mean he can stop doing it. Although I do not know how to be an internet site manager, I am sure there are all sorts of guidelines and rules he has to follow. Just to use an analogy---I have many rules I must enforce as Director of early learning centers. I enforce them across the board and fairly. I cannot allow someone to break the rules just because they are a long time employee....nor because they are a popular employee. I don't enforce the rules to hurt someone (although many times people are NOT happy with me); I enforce them because they protect our business AND because I said this is what I would do. This is what I believe Desiree was trying to say...rules are enforced to protect all of us.
Again----that being said, I do miss Dale and hope he will re-connect with the community. Desiree and I meant no disrespect to Dale and I mean none to you.
Fair enough Sootie, we can all have different opinions.
I have been in leadership positions in my life and I broke the rules. I broke the rules for an employee who had about 1 year to retirement. He was diabetic, insulin dependent, and from time to time he was going under normal levels of glucose and would become confused. Not everyone had their eyes on him, and he was making mistakes. But he was always first to volunteer if we had to work on Saturdays, he was never late, or called in sick. I was asked to put him on a performance improvement plan, and get him to the point of being fired. I worked with him, and corrected his mistakes on the tests, so the gentleman retired with all the honors due to his age, and dedication to his job. Sure I could have fired him and offered the position to a younger person, but it did not feel right to push him aside because he was aging, and sick, and making mistakes not because he was careless, but because his abilities were temporarily altered by his illness. I left the company and several months after that I was invited to his retirement party. Every time I look back, I am proud of what I did, and my heart is telling me I did the right thing. The point I am making is, there are different levels of enforcing rules, and I don't think things are ever black and white, in my opinion.
Time to take this to PM......
I respect your opinion.
MY beloved brother Tommy did you talk or text Dale yet?
I have! But I have nothing to report at this point! He is his own man and will decide for himself!
Thanks for the update I appreciate you!
Thank you my sister! I love and appreciate you!
I saw the original comments and I was really, really, really disheartened. I left this group years ago after similar behavior was occurring and in my perusal of other people's blogs/interactions in the time since I was gone it truly seems to show a pattern happening over and over again. I'm so disappointed that it's still continuing because Dale does make a lot of positive contributions here and people do miss him.
Dale................
You're sorely missed.
Personally - I'm all for transparency. I don't see that happening here. Most here haven't a clue as to what this issue is all about. Even I don't really know. Except that material has been deleted. That's one of the problems. And that's why deleting is not always the best of choices. Whatever the "rules." In the old days we used to work through things ourselves on this site in this community. Perhaps it was messy, but there wasn't an excision without explanation. I understand the need to preserve open minded, KIND, dialogue. I also understand that comments and "sides" can be taken and conflagrations can occur. And rucki happen.
Adults manage to get over it.
MOO
I liked your comment.
As you know...I don't like deleting.....I've written a few blogs about how much I don't like it. This is because I view all of the members of this site as "talking" to one another. In talking....you can't delete what you said.
But Mark is not a member of this community.....he is the site manager. Although we may not like the rules.....and I agree with you that deleting doesn't seem to be a very effective rule......we still know there are rules. So I sincerely hope no one will leave over what Mark does.
What is my point? I have two......
#1- Let's just keep talking to one another. Let's all try not to get too bent out of shape with the rules of the site. Because the site can't be what we each think it "should" be......because not all of us will ever want the same thing!!!
#2- and most important......I think your FIRST point Giulia was the BEST one in this entire blog chain......
REALLY??? You want to go here?
This whole thing makes me want a cigarette.....
But you won't do that SaraCorinne!!! Because we have to learn to live WITHOUT smoking to relax,to work, to talk on the phone, to drink coffee, to finish a meal, to wake up, to go to sleep, to reward ourselves-------------------AND to handle conflict.
Stay Strong
NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF OVER YOU-NOT ONE PUFF EVER-that was SUGGESTED to ME-sharing is caring-hang in there for you! thank you.
I still don't know what happened, but I find all of this disappointing. I know how much this site has helped me with my quit and that includes Dale. Personally, I can't form an opinion one way or the other when I don't have any knowledge or information about what occurred. I'm sorry to hear that this type of behavior caused Alyson to leave this site before. I truly hope this doesn't continue.
SaraCorinne I hear ya.
I am one of those people who do not see things as either black or white - for me there is a lot of gray. I did not see the comment(s) that were deleted. So I have no opinion on if it was warranted or not. But I do remember one week-end morning several months ago when I woke up early and was reading blogs with my morning cup of coffee. There was one written by a newby that was very insulting to one of our most respected elders. This newby named names. It was absolutely the worst case that I have ever seen on this site of a personal attack. I did something that I have only done a very few times - I reported it. I am sure that others did too because within a short period of time, the post was gone. I have no way of knowing who deleted it - it had to have been the person who originally published it or by admin. Either way - it was gone and that was a good thing in my opinion. Some times it is just better to not say anything. Hoping that jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 is back soon - sharing his wisdom!
I missed the whole thing, but I am fighting my computer with Microsoft, and now, have to prepare for another hurricane turned tropical storm when it gets here. Hurricane Michael. UGH!!!
My opinion, things should not be deleted. AND, jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007 has been here long enough to recognize a problem child, in addition to him being a very strong support system for a lot of people, just like a few others on this site are.
I have to go put boards on the back patio door now, because we are expecting at least 50 mph winds sustained, in addition to us being on the right top quadrant of this system, which equals tornadoes. I'm not smoking over it.
Love you guys!!!!
(((((hug))))),
Irish Rose
Oh, IrishRose, I hope the storm will decrease in intensity by the time it hits your home, but glad you are taking the precautionary measures. Please be safe, and let us know once Michael passed your home town! I will be thinking of you!
Hugs,
D
Thank you, Daniela-3-11-2016 . This storm just popped up out of no where. I just brought the pen back inside the garage for my chicken. As I hear my husband snoring, I am in a major panic. I thought I was a procrastinator, but my husband is far worse than I. Ha! With the storm coming up from below us, it is a given there will be tornadoes spawning off from the storm. Good thing we watch the news every day. This thing popped out of no where in the Gulf, and it is already a Category 4. We are under a tropical storm warning and tornado watch now, and it has not even made landfall in Florida yet. Hopefully, it will lose it's potency traveling through trees before it reaches us; although, I welcome 50 mph sustained winds, versus 140 mph sustained winds. Lots of flood rains expected. UGH!
Thank you again for your kind thoughts flowing my way. I feel them.
Love,
Irish
Take care. I would be a nervous wreck.
Barbscloud , I stay a nervous wreck. There's always some c#!% going on in my life, and I am not even the one causing it. Gotta love it.
((((hug)))) for you,
Irish
IrishRose Will be thinking of you and saying many prayers...this monster blew up overnight. Please stay safe and keep your animals safe (I know you will). Let us know when it is over...
Sending love and prayers,
Ellen
(Really? You want to go here?)
Yes. It's not good, but it's a choice Dale has made to not be here. I'm sure he's offended. As I would be. Mark not only deleted Dale's comment, but Buddy's comment. As I have stated more than once on this site, I don't think deleting comments is a good thing to do. Thoughts On Deleting Comments
If someone is offended by someone else's post, the adult way to handle it, in my opinion, is to private message the individual. That way it's kept out of the community at large and prevents rucki. But if it's been said - let it stand and deal with it. Deleting it is not only a coward's way out, to my mind, but it also messes up those who have seen and responded to the comment and then out of the blue the point of reference is gone. And that makes for confusion and a dysfunctional community.
And let me just leave it at that. Because my dander is high and I'm close to going on a rant that would probably cause much more of a conflagration than I suspect our company manager was trying to prevent by his deletions.
MOO