I was smoking instead.
I'm going to start making a note of the being "alive" and living moments/ tidbits I experience in the moments that in the past would have been taken up by the activity of sitting on my butt, alone, inhaling black poison into my lungs and staring at a phone game.
10:30ish- prime time old favorite time to sit on the butt with the poison. Instead I took my dog for a quick walk on the greenway behind my house. (it's our normal quick walk route- I just didn't go at this time bc of the other activity).
So- today- if I had relapsed yesterday I would probably still be in it- which means I would have been sitting there instead of SAVING THIS DOG'S life!!!!! ahh!! Good dog story people! My dog and I came upon an emaciated sweet pup with a ripped leash. First I thought he was a dog who had been chained, but he was happy to follow us back to my house. Low and behold his missing ad was on craigslist! He had been out there for a week. After some food and water and a tearful phone call with his momma, he was reunited with her. What a good ending. We are getting ready to get a snowstorm and that pup would have had a hard time surviving that after a week out already. He was also making his way eerily close to the highway. Oh my day is made. Saving a dog's life is so much better than killing myself slowly with poison. Right?!?