Got a text to my phone a little while ago. From the Ex. "How have your first 50 days been?"
I had go stand in front of the calendar in the kitchen and count. I couldn't believe it.
I have been 100% nicotine free for 50 days. No slips, no puffs, no nothing. For 50 days. The feeling is kind of amazing.
The first 30 days (give or take) I felt like I was counting every minute, every hour, every day.. But the last 20.. I didn't count. They flew right past me and I didn't realize.. apparently. I still think about smoking randomly. Like yesterday, while drinking my coffee and home alone. Coffee and cigarettes used to pair together. I liked how they tasted together. The thought crossed my mind that the gas station around the way sells singles. I could have one with my coffee and no one would know. I didn't. I've made that mistake before, won't do that again. And then the intrusive thought passed.
I still don't feel like a non-smoker. I do feel like a quitter. But like I've been quitting since July 11. I don't know at what point I will stop feeling like I am quitting and start feeling like I have quit. I know I will get there, and I am very happy to report that the journey is no longer up hill. Kind of weird to me, how such a big milestone, 50 days, snuck up.
