noetoez

Day 30 - Human again

Blog Post created by noetoez on Aug 9, 2020

Today is my 30th day smoke free.

 

It took over 3 weeks for me to stop feeling mostly terrible. But here I am, I have felt like a real human girl for several days. Still craving here and there, but now I can go get a drink of water or something and feel better. I no longer feel like a weird shell pretending to be a person while all consumed. FINALLY

 

Started my week with that employee appreciation "interview." I don't know what the rest of the video is going to be, but my portion did not feel like much. I got up early, got all made up, drove for 30 minutes to say, "My name is Brittany. I write policy and procedure for such and such. I volunteered at the Emergency Operations Center for 3 months. My department is currently telecommuting in response to COVID, we have had to develop virtual processes." Then they gave me a bottle of hand sanitizer made by Tito's Vodka. And then I drove 30 minutes back home. Hopefully I don't look like a dumb dumb, we shall see.

 

I took the rest of the week off as vacation, planning to clean my house at a leisurely pace, get the child going for the start of 7th grade, and actually relax. First day off, I got bit by a mosquito right in between my knuckles. I'm allergic. Not deathly, but... my hand almost tripled in size, couldn't bend my fingers. Oh well, cleaning my house this week did not happen. Hand is just about normal, just in time to go back to work tomorrow. I guess I am thankful that I did not have to try to work with my hand like that.

 

I have made it to 30 days before, but not many times. My previous quits usually fell down around 2 or 3 weeks. The longest I have gone before was around 5 months. And then I let myself fall because I was stressed.

 

This quit is different. This quit is the last quit. This quit I am more educated, better prepared with tools for when stress hits, and I have the support of my fellow EXers. This quit, is the quit I win!

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