Captain's log, day 19.
Physically, I am starting to feel better. Like a TON better. Yesterday, when I woke up, I even felt what one might refer to as "good." I'm working from home at the moment, and my step daughter is spending a couple days with her mom before school starts, so I am alone. I was worried loneliness or boredom might be a problem, but they have not been. Sleep is still a struggle, but it's better. I'm taking medication for acid reflux, and it's working. Still not super productive at work, but I had a spurt of productivity where I felt like my old self in the afternoon. The tight chest anxious feeling only snuck in once yesterday and was over in a few minutes and I was so happy to have possibly turned a corner... until my poor husband came home...
The RAGE. The number of expletives that tumbled out of my mouth at that poor man yesterday. At 445 he informed me he wanted to have dinner at 5. What normally would have been an annoyed, "Are you aware that's in 15 minutes and it is not possible to turn an unopened package of raw chicken into fettuccine alfredo in that amount of time? Also, I don't get off work until 5?" Turned into... well.. it's a good thing nothing sharp was right next to me... And then when he was making dumb jokes at his daughter's mother, the urge to judo chop him in the temple was almost too strong to stifle. I asked her to take him for the night too. She said no.
Today again, I am alone. And I feel pretty good this morning. And I have already apologized in advance if I can't resist the urge to poke Dave in the eye.
