Well, I think I'm nearly out of No Man's Land...most of my time there was uneventful. But the last week I've had wickedly strong cravings and urges. It got really bad over the weekend. On Sunday I was driving home from seeing family and passed a market and thought, 'I could stop in there for some cigarettes.' Then I remembered that I don't do that any more. But the thoughts persisted throughout the rest of the day. Thankfully I didn't give in to the urges but I was kind of surprised that those cravings even happened in the first place. I had been coasting along pretty effortlessly the last few weeks and the weekend made me do a hard stop and re-commit to staying quit. I feel better today, thankfully those urges went back to wherever they came from and I have no desire to start back up any more. I even smelled someone smoking this morning and it made me nauseous. So I think I'm past the worst of whatever was going on.
This is the longest I've been quit in 2 years so I'm not going back now. This was a hard-fought battle and it's still something I protect, I don't want to go back to Day One again. The last few months have been a series of quits, then something happens and I start up again. This time I'm committing to staying free. I make sure to log in here frequently, do the daily pledge, and remember why I quit and why I need to stay quit. I take pride in every single day I have stayed quit and nothing is going to make me go back. Thank you to everyone here who has cheered me on and encouraged me along the way. Without this site, and the people I've met here, I couldn't have done it. To all the newbies--keep on keeping on!!!! It is SOOOOO worth it. Thanks for listening and hugs to everyone. XO Mark
