Nearly 18 days

Blog Post created by mpnaegle on Jan 12, 2020

Tonight at midnight I will have made it 18 days smoke free.  I am not going to lie, today was rough.  Thankfully I didn’t have any cravings, I just felt a terrible, heavy loneliness most of the day.  In the past I would have tried to smoke those feelings away.  But now, I don’t use that as a crutch or coping mechanism.  I have to deal with these feelings head on.  And I have to feel them, no shrpud of smoke to numb them.  It’s a strange new sensation.  For the first time in a long, long time I am facing these long suppressed feelings head on.  I guess it’s going to take some time to get used to dealing with them like this.  I have no desire to go back to smoking, don’t get me wrong—it’s just re-learning a new way of being.  It also doesn’t help that I hate this time of year.  Short, cold days and it’s often cloudy or raining here.  But I will get through the season, one smoke-free step at a time.   I am just glad that I have this website to come to, that there’s a place where so many people have been where I am right now, who can relate to the way I am feeling.  Thank you for listening and I hope all are well.