So after a lot of personal difficulties, on August 18th, I lost my quit. (Some of you may have been following what was going on in my life at the time...long story short, I got my heart stomped on...) I was angry and disappointed in myself at first for losing my quit, but I'm at a point now where I understand that these things happen, I am human, and I've forgiven myself. So last night around 8:00 PM PST I smoked my last cigarette, I did some meditation and passed out quickly (I have been working way too much lately between both of my jobs), and this morning at 8:00 AM I pulled myself out of bed, put on a patch, and rushed into work. I'm not regretting my decision to start smoking again any more, but I'm also stronger in my resolve to stay quit going forward than I was before. Every journey begins with a single step, and today is step one, all over again but I will pull through this. I need to be rid of this horrible habit for good. I've started coughing, a lot, and I know that this is linked to my heavy smoking over the past few weeks. Probably run-down and sick as well, which isn't helping things. So today, I breathe, I push through the craziness of the day and my life and I hold tight to this quit. I stayed away from this site out of shame and upset; I went through a lot of Hell over the past few weeks, and I think I'm finally coming out the other side of all of that. I am here, I am staying quit this time, one step at a time. Love to everyone and I will be sure to post more in the days to come. XO
