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41 Days and I'm definitely having a Monday

mpnaegle
Member
2 9 108

I'm relieved that I've held onto this quit as well as I have today.  I'm on very little sleep, I'm irritable about everything, and I just want to go home and crawl under the covers with my dog.  I worked all weekend so I definitely got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  It hasn't been a great day, my boss chewed me out for my messy desk, which wasn't that messy but whatever...but I'm 41 days smoke-free.  It just feels like everything is terribly magnified today.  I'm trying to stay positive but it feels like it's been an uphill battle all day.  I keep pushing the rock up the hill and it keeps rolling down over me.  It's definitely a Monday, and in No Man's Land this Monday feels like a thousand bad Mondays all in one.  I want to shout at everyone I see today.  I can't smile, it just feels forced when I try to.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for--my health, my 3 jobs, my house, my car, my dog, family and friends who love and support me no matter what, money in the bank--but I'm just not feeling great today.  I really should have just stayed home today.  I'm going to push through the rest of today but I'm very, very, very short with everyone and everything today.  I'm staying quiet at work, not interacting with any of my co-workers unless I absolutely have to, and when I answer the phone I put on my game face.  But this whole day is horrible and I'm done.  I'll keep breathing, and I'll keep pushing through but I just can't with people today.  That's all for now.  Thanks for listening and hope you're all having a great day.  XO

9 Comments
About the Author
I have smoked on and off (mostly on) for the last twenty years...quit in 2010 and was successful for 3 1/2 years. Then my husband died in January 2014, so I caved and started up again...now, over 7 years later, I want to be done for good!!!! This quit is IT.