Well, it looks like I may be doing a day-by-day journal here after all.
So, as of a half hour ago, I'm at the 48 hour mark without a cigarette. I think I thought I was at 48 hours yesterday at this time. Oh dear. This fuzzy-headed business is a trip.
Have I ever been this tired? I don't think so. I sort of zombied my way through work yesterday--luckily I had no face-to-face meetings, only conference calls. I took my mom to an appointment and we had lunch and that was nice. After I got home, I chatted briefly with the hub, sort of ate some dinner, played with the pups a bit and crashed around 6:30pm. I basically slept from then on until 4 this morning.
I got up and milled around, not sure what to do with myself and I was still SOOOOO sleepy, which doesn't even seem possible, so I went back to bed! I finally managed to get back up and get myself together and get to work, where I am currently. I feel a bit more awake. I hope that lasts.
I do feel really pretty crappy as I noted yesterday. Headache, sinus congestion, coughing up all the junk in my lungs, tired, etc. I also feel like I'm getting an UTI. Really? I need one of those right now like a hole in the head! Oh, also hot flashes galore due to the pre-menopause. I mean, it's a frigging circus over here. So, no smoking, hormones askew, a possible urinary tract infection, sinus bs, and actually, a lot of work to do at the job. Good times. I'm feeling a little funky (not like Parliament and Funkadelic funky, but, out of whack funky) and definitely a tad crabby, but I'm going to continue to power through.
I do have to note that while I was getting ready for work I thought to myself that because I was doing such a good job of not smoking I should reward myself with...A PACK OF CIGARETTES. Hello! That thought did actually form and flit right across my brain. I mean, it almost made me laugh--because it seemed so, oddly, reasonable. Crazy stuff.
Needless to say, I did not treat myself to the cigs. But, I am having the weirdest food cravings. Fig Newtons, currently. I've always liked a Fig Newton, but now I feel like I'll die without a Newton! I feel like I just ate my weight in Newtons! Which, for some reason is making me laugh--picturing myself, passed out, surrounded by empty Fig Newton containers. Oh my. I did manage to cram a banana and a clementine in there, so it wasn't a breakfast completely made of cookies. I mean, they can fig all they want to, they're still a cookie!
