Many of you know that my husband's dad has pancreatic cancer, a non-curable and no remission type of cancer. His wife was more than nasty to me recently, bitched me out for something that I apparently did several years ago and she was holding a grudge all that time. I have no memory of doing anything that would upset her, or involve her in my family. I was told that my father-in-law did not want to see me before he dies. I took the high road and apologized for something I didn't even know about but she acted like a baby and hung up on me. I privately forgave her. I live by the true belief that forgiveness is everyone's right and that grudges and anger only wear down the ones that keep them.
For the Lord says in Colossians 3:13: 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
and Ephesians 4:31-32: 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you
Since that time I've stopped asking to visit but do make sure hubby calls his dad weekly and give him support. His dad will be turning 80 next week but they are celebrating this weekend. Hubby's sister is flying in from Massachusetts and although his dad and wife are only an hour and a half from here they want him to stay over. OK by me of course and I made sure he knew not to bring up my or the kids names even. Hubby bought a present but needed a birthday card. I went into my stash and found a card for Dads. The message was perfect other than it said 'us' on the inside. I told him to make a judgement call on what names he wrote but it would probably be best to leave us off it. I hope they enjoy his dad's birthday celebration and I'm glad that by taking the high road I have nothing to be sorry for.
Lesson: Although it seems like we can't get through tough times without lighting up, that's a lie. It's so true that smoking does not help anything and we can get through life without cigs if we believe that and live by that. Every hurdle cleared without the demon makes us stronger and more capable and confident about clearing the next one.