Two Special Occasions, No Celebrations

Blog Post created by minihorses on Nov 12, 2018

I don't want to whine. I try not to be the Eoyer on EX, I really do!  But a lot of times you all get the brunt of my sadness and I'm so sorry for that.  On a good note, you all will listen to what I am currently whining about and actually give me support!  No one else does that for me. Not even my mother.  So this morning is a minor b***h session about my day yesterday.  So there were supposed to be two good things to have a little celebration about yesterday. I hit 60 days yesterday of freedom from killing myself with cigarettes!! I'm proud of myself, and so are my kids.  Hubby still hasn't ever said squat but I'm over being upset that he doesn't support me, I didn't quit exclusively for him anyway.  Yesterday was also my birthday. I don't make a big deal of them since I became over-the-hill, although I'm still able to recycle a few years of birthdays before having to use my actual age.  Yesterday I could use a recycled one so I declared myself to be  35 (you figure out how old I turned  ).  We went out for dinner, reluctantly on my part because I was starting to have stomach issues but wherever we were going had to have something my oldest son would eat.  A search of nearby restaurants' menus offered pretty much one place he found food he liked, TGI Friday's.  Not my fav but there were a couple things I could eat. 

He's too big to sit in the back seat of my Camry so he was driving to and from the restaurant. They put us in a booth away from air vents, the kitchen, the bar, and drink stations.  Perfect!  My oldest weighs 325 lbs. so the booth was too tight for him but he only complained a little. I used to be 270 lbs so I understood how he felt.  The rest of the night was all about him. He can't seem to chew with his mouth shut and got upset that I reminded him, like a mom should. I only ordered a house salad and potato skins since I can't eat much and finished half of each. I also can't eat sugary things but I can eat about a half of a cup of ice cream from McDonald's. I wanted that in lieu of cake or whatever.  Son wanted a huge chocolate bomb dessert from Friday's and threw a hissy when we said no.  When I said McDonald's and other son agreed it sounded good, the oldest went off and was arguing how bad the food was (I agree the food is horrendous) and how he would never eat anything or go near the place. We said we weren't asking him to eat there, just stop for some ice cream and he just about blew a gasket in the restaurant. He left the booth because it was squeezing his stomach so much he was getting sick. Hubby talked to him prior to 'take off' but I don't know what was said. Next thing I know we're home and he's snacking on chips ahoy cookies. I was done, I'd had enough.  Didn't open my cards and I don't get presents for birthday or Christmas. 

The ghost of the house, which is me, shrunk back onto the couch (my bed), hubby went to bed (in what used to be our bedroom), youngest took a shower, oldest went to his room. 

So hurray for me on my 61 days now without smoking or any push-me-overs to the dark side! 


And a very (fill in the blank) for one more year on the old fart scale!  I am not going to let the guys' actions get my panties in a wad. It's not worth my effort. Got my pointed toe cowboy boots on and emotions set all the way down to numb. Now I'm ready for the rest of the day. 


Haven't wanted a cigarette at all in the last 2 days.  After all isn't that what we're all here for?  Life, no matter how crappy yours is, can be lived without smoking.  You just have to WANT it in order to DO it!