Just like the old saying goes, "Stick a fork in me, I'm done!" I think I've had about enough of this non-smoking life. My life is way too stressful and depressing to care. Yes, life happens whether we smoke or not. So it can happen while I smoke just as well as when I don't.
I won't go into the details as they are probably not helpful to anyone. I won't worry about 'another day 1' because there won't be another quit until I suffocate from the very thing I'm running back to. That's the future. I don't think in terms of the future because there probably won't be much of one anyway due to the human race's inane lack of humanity of all things. I think here and now. I could be run over by a bus in 2 seconds. If I'm miserable now then why should I spend the next 2 seconds of my life that way? Why shouldn't I do what I want? If I don't get hit by a bus then it's a wash and I'm still happy. Smoking until I choke in that last breath. Alzheimer's runs in my family so I probably won't even be aware of my own name as I croak anyway.
I have to wait til morning to go get smokes so I have a few hours to sit on this but I've been tossing it around for days and I just don't care about the downsides of it. At least I'm honest about it. No excuses, I'm just done unless a friggin miracle occurs in the next 6 hours or so.
