It really feels like 3 months! Time is not feeling like real time lately. Days go by in a flash and weeks can take forever! I sit down to work and look up and realize I haven't moved from my chair in almost 3 hours. I realized this morning that my smoking routines really controlled my time and the manner in which I managed my time. Every 1/2 hour up and smoking a cigarette. Two on the way to work, 3 before bed, 2 after a meal, one before a shower, 2 while getting ready for work. Now, time just kind of flows without those breaks. I think that might be why I get the feeling like I am forgetting to do something, because in reality I am. I am forgetting how to live a life in which my time was controlled by when and where I smoked. Now I can use my time anyway I want and I am kind of clueless on how to use my time. I don't think sitting in front of a computer for 3 hours is good for me or my body. I could go swimming, which I do. I could learn to use my new camera I bought myself last year. I could pull out my cords and beads and start working on my macrame again. I could sew, brush the dog, vacuum, wash the floors, clean the kitchen or bathrooms, wash the car, put bulbs in the ground... But then I sit here not sure where to begin and on what...
Today is 21 days and I am very happy for these last 21 days. I did not think I could do it! But here it is, done if I make it to the end of the day. I have every intention of doing so. N.O.P.E. Ain't going back! It's all about the attitude baby!
M. DOF 21