Why is it the harder i try to quit the more i want to smoke. Like everything EVERYTHING becomes a reason to light one up.
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Why is it the harder i try to quit the more i want to smoke. Like everything EVERYTHING becomes a reason to light one up.
Welcome to the EX kaycod2020.. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time but unfortunately it's part of the quit as Nancy Youngatheart.7.4.12 shared with you in her post, above. The truth be told, we ARE addicts, and breaking loose takes education about the addiction, a growing awareness of what we are choosing to do to our bodies, and the eventual decision to break free. It does take work, like Nancy said, but it's so much easier with the support we get from others here at the EX. We consider ourselves a family and we have each other's backs. I am wishing you well and want to assure you that you CAN stop smoking. I never thought I could -- or would even want to-- but after more than 60 years of heavy smoking, I am almost one year totally free from cigarettes.
Stay in touch with us. Spend all the time you can on this site, reading, posting, and connecting with us so we can give you support as you begin your journey.
~Suzy
Hi Kaycod2020. First I'd like to welcome you to Ex. You've written that you are struggling with the idea of quitting. I'd really like to hear more from you on how you came to your decision and what planning you've done? Please let me, let us at Ex know. We're a community here that you can count on to listen so please take advantage of that.
PS, now that you are here you have a whole bunch of quitters rooting for you. Yes you can do this--one step at a time on your say so.
I want to quit for me. I'm noticing my breathing has become labored and every time I smoke I notice I'm trying to get away from the smoke and inching towards the ashtray. I tried to cut back less cigarettes every day and then I went to not even smoking every day like I didn't have not one cigarette yesterday but today was a complete failure I had 4. But tomorrow's my quit day. It just seems like I should know better I'm looking forward to not having that cigarette smell follow me anymore or that frantic anxiety feeling I get when I think I need one. I plan to .....i need a strategy........
see my post below.
this is how you train yourself out of smoking without any struggle
Good to hear from you. There is no reason you should know better because smoking is a dependency, an addiction. Here at Ex you can learn how to undo all that. Visit regularly, keep reading, keep learning. You can succeed in your quit one day at a time--most of us learned how to quit by quitting!!! And most are nervous about quitting. You are definitely not alone. Stick around, keep talking.
Try this.
Every time to want to smoke say
"I'm going to wait a little longer"
Never torture or deny yourself just say
"I'm going to wait a little longer"
Don't count how many you're having
you don't want to get caught short and frustrated
just say
"I'm going to wait a little longer"
If you'll do that for a month, you will realize you've proven you don't have to smoke just because you thought you did.
You will be smoking very little by then.
I did this and quit the first time.
After you've quit, when you think of smoking, you say
"I don't do that anymore."
After a week of saying that you will have retrained your mind to think it without saying it.
There is no luck
Time separates us
New memories without smoking draw us away from it.
Time is the healer
Nicotine addiction
"Why is it the harder i try to quit the more i want to smoke. Like everything EVERYTHING becomes a reason to light one up."
Because when you suddenly know you can't have one, that's when you want one. Purely psychological gobbledogook.
I just found this great article on that topic. I've cut it down some, so do go check out the entire article:
=================
WHY YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE
WHEN YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU WANT IT EVEN MORE.
Here are three reasons why this is so:
1. Heightened attention: When something is hard to get (or forbidden) you immediately pay more attention to it. .......
2. Perceived scarcity: When something is scarce or in short supply, its perceived value increases. You want it more because you think other people also want it. .........
3. “Psychological Reactance”: People don’t like to be told they can’t have or can’t do something. It’s related to not wanting to be controlled by others, especially if the situation feels unfair or arbitrary. The “reactance” is both emotional and behavioral.
The emotional part is your inner brat saying, “Oh yeah? I can’t have what I want? Just try and stop me!”
The behavioral component is what you do about it, which usually involves some type of rebellious reaction.
===================
I never quite understood the "why" of it, but I sure do know the reality of it. Those three examples explain it perfectly to my mind. Every time, before I'd quit, I'd smoke my brains out. Perceived scarcity, for sure. It's also knowing that something is going to end. And we like things to continue, even if they're bad for us. It's what we're USED to. Altering what we do every day - is hard. Changing habits - is hard. And this is more than a habit, though a habit it is also. I think it could be ANYTHING. If it's something we like, but we know we suddenly can't have - we want it all the more. Our focus changes and that's all we think about.
So, if you understand the "why," does that help? For myself I find that the "why" CAN help, but ultimately I have the accept the choice I made. Understanding the "why" of the pain of it, doesn't lessen the commitment to it.
You need to put in the work...with planning, commitment, knowledge and hard work...You have received some great advice above me, be sure to do the work...Colleen 726 DOF
Welcome to the community!
The short answer? Because you are an addict, and most everything you did and felt was tied to smoking in one way or another. This quit thing takes EFFORT. I can help get you started, but you will have to do the work! It CAN be done, but it takes a bit of self discipline in the earliest days.
The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware. I credit it in large part with my success at quitting. You can search for it online or at your local library.
You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.
It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. You might visit “Games”: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/games. The active ones are at the top of the list going down the left side of the homepage. Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke
The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!
Nancy