17 Weeks of freedom and then I  Smoked

Blog Post created by katherineu on May 17, 2017

I had to reset my quit date this week.  I went 17 weeks nicotine free and then smoked a few cigarettes as I was gagging and coughing with each cigarette.  I don't know how many I smoked, a few, at one point I felt nausea and threw the pack away.  It was not worth it, I let my stupid drama life dictate my justification to smoke a cigarette.  Back to square one and I know this is God telling me to get it together because you already had it together the first time you threw the cigarettes away.  Am I ashamed of myself, oh hell yes, did I tell anyone, just my husband, I'm so disgusted all I can say is that I am thankful I started feeling sick to my stomach trashed the cigarettes and learned my lesson.

Is it just me though, I went a little over four months, no cravings, just light up and use my stress and problems as an excuse, get sick from smoking and then the next day I am fine like nothing happened.  I'm back to how I was before I ruined my smoke free life, I don't identify it with my life anymore.

If anyone is thinking about relapsing PLEASE DON'T its not worth it, even worse you could end up at square one - a dedicated smoker.  I should have got on here first like I always have but I let all my excuses get in the way. Don't justify all the excuses for smoking a cigarette, its a LIE.  

I did and look at me back to square one, what a bummer.

I don't plan on giving up because I intend to live a healthy smoke free life.