I am a reiki master, shaman, and ive been working on myself for the past 10 years, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I push myself to do physical therapy everyday so I don't end up wheel chair bound. and just because I have dreams about buying smokes doesn't mean ill start smoking again. I am bipolar, I have mutilple sclerosis, and I have arthritis and a whole bunch of all crap.
all of which I have chosen to not have kids, because of all the things wrong with me, and I cant deal with a kid asking me why they have ms. and plus it wouldn't be fair to them im on limited income I cant run or pick them up.
and chaos would never forgive me, he is really good with kids, but he likes having my complete undivided attention. sand I don't mind. I have a good life or atleast fighting having having ms every second and flipping off ms as much as i can because I do enjoy flipping ppl and personal problems off lol
and as for my sister I can not make her decisions or live her life for her. I tell her I love her and hoe proud of her I am for wanting to try to go back to rehab. I just hope she really does it this time...
thank you everyone for letting me vent and for all the hugs and prayers.