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Share your quitting journey

I'm so ashamed

jbennett300
Member
1 17 260

I'd been struggling with some work all morning. Trying to get it done, but couldn't work for more than a couple minutes without needing a break. So I took breaks every couple minutes- exercise, say hello to the cats, play a game, spend time here, have a snack, exercise some more... but I still couldn't get much work done. Later, I went outside to shovel the snow, and there was a guy walking up the street smoking. I asked if I could have one. For the next couple hours, I still tried to focus on work, and a couple times went to throw away the cigarette, but I couldn't do it. Finally, I smoked it. I smoked mindfully, observing the experience without judgement. I enjoyed it, but after, I felt tired and out of breath. A little later I had stomach cramps that lasted an hour. I decided that was stupid and I don't want to do that again! But I got so much work done after smoking. I worked for several hours without breaks and it was easy. I'm wondering what else I might be able to do when work struggles happen. 

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